“It doesnt matter …

… what time it is ma if you need a ride we will come get you ok!!  Have fun and be safe! Make good choices.  Love you lots”  I had to read this text twice this morning and look at who sent it to me even more.  It was Niko.  My heart filled with love for him, and I think filled with the love he has for me.  I had mentioned I was going to Lucky Charlie’s with Nancy last night to watch Greg’s band play, and not that I would have gotten too drunk to drive, and besides I live 7 blocks from downtown, I could have walked … the point is, he was willing to come all the way into town to give his ma a ride home AND his reference to “have fun, be safe, make good choices” … something I always say to my kids when they’re heading off on adventures, whether it’s to a party or on a holiday.  Nancy and I didn’t end up going last night because her dog got sick, so I was already sleeping when he sent the text.  Bleary eyed this morning after a night of walking through old dreams, his text gave me the best feeling I’ve had in a long while.  He really does love his ma:)

I tried to return to my dream from Thursday night where we are magic, but instead I returned to a recurring dream from decades ago in which I watch a rocketplane split in half and crash to the ground.  The rocket part crashes so hard it disappears into the planet (still not sure if I’m on earth), while the plane part continues to fly on, and by this time (after four recurrings) I know it will crash too …. which it does …. I watch it fall out of the sky and crash, but it doesn’t disappear … it ignites and … I wake up Lol  I watch this, as always it seems, on the property where my parents live (now), which is a generational land going back to the turn of the century and my Great-grandparents.  I am deeply rooted there.  I am connected to my ancestors there.  I have memories that span lifetimes, from the past and the future.  Very cool indeed:)

Yesterday was three months since my last day at work.  It feels like I’ve lived so much since then, and I’m ready now to live bigger.  I’ve been on a three-month holiday (amazing and Thank you very much!!), resetting my head and heart, and now I’m ready for more.  I went for lunch with Joanna on Thursday and she’s rocking and rolling in her life … Creating her life … and that inspired me to start shaking things up in mine.  That phone call to Go Daddy for instance.  Sitting down and making posters (on Canva) for my hot tubs is another.  I’ve established healthy routines since leaving work which was VERY necessary for me so I can be self-employed.  There, I said it!!!  I want to be self-employed:)   The self-discovery will always continue, but now I’m ready to DO stuff too.  I started a business plan over a year ago which I’ll revisit and bring back to life …  I am more self-assured now about the direction I want to go in than I was then, and it’s exciting to consider what lies ahead.