Titleless and Empty…

I’ve got so many things I want to write about.  A few good, a lot bad.  I just don’t know how to write it all down.  But I will.  To tide you all over, I will tell you about Halloween.

PART ONE:

The weekend before Halloween, I was indulging in one of my favorite pleasures — horror movies!!!  From Friday night until Sunday night, I watch just about every horror movie I could get my hands on.  ((By the way, House of Wax was AWESOME!))  Monday, was a wierd day because of the time change on Sunday.  I went to work with the sun up (and in my eyes), and came home at night.  A really bad thunderstorm came through around 4pm, making it dark very early.  I get home just as the rain is letting up and I see my front door wide open and all the lights off in the house.  I honestly think my heart stopped.  Every death scene from all the movies I watched over the weekend flashed through my head.  Even as I walked up to the door to investigate inside, my inner voice was screaming at me, "You idiot!  This is how every bloody scene begins!!! Run away!  Run away!!!!!"  I tip-toe in the house and I can hear my dogs barking from my room.  I’m trying to get my eyes to adjust to the dark so I can see my way around to find a light switch when the lightning flashes.  I see someone standing in my hallway.  I swear I peed a little.  Instead of screaming like a woman and running or curling up in a fetal position and crying, somehow I channeled every kung fu movie I had ever seen and yelled something unintelligible.  It must have worked because the guy standing there started screaming for me to not hurt him.  I found the light switch and turned it on to discover that it was neighbor across the street standing there.  Just then a cop car pulls up (just like in the movies, they always show up when everything is over).  Turns out my neighbor had noticed that my door was open for a few hours and called the cops.  When he saw that my cats were hanging around outside, he herded them back in and that’s when I showed up.  He got scared about being in my house when I wasn’t there so he just froze in the hallway.  Everything got sorted out and the cop walked through the house with me to make sure no one else was hiding and that nothing was missing.  (I can’t tell you how happy I was about the fact that just a few days ago I had put away all the "adult" things and cleaned the porn off my computer desktop.)  Everything was fine so they left and I went about cleaning up all the rain that collected in my living room carpet.

PART TWO:

For the past few years, Joe and I haven’t passed out candy to kids for Halloween.  We are usually out doing other things and aren’t home.  This year, he was going to be with his little cousins and I was just going to stay home and relax.  Since I didn’t buy any candy and I didn’t want any kids coming to my door, I turned off all the lights in the house except in my computer room.  I didn’t even decorate so that it would look like no one was home, but it never fails.  There are always those kids who don’t know the Trick or Treating Rules® and come up to dark houses and ring door bells.  I had gone to sneak out of my house to go check the mail when I heard a bunch of kids running up my driveway to come to my door.  I was about to get all rude and nasty with them when I heard a lady from the street yelling, "Don’t go to that house.  You see how it’s all dark?  You have to stay away from those houses."  I was so thrilled to hear an adult passing along The Rules® to kids and teaching them the correct way to go about begging house to house.  I was smiling and happy for the next few hours until I watched the evening news.  Apparently, sex offenders aren’t allowed to decorate their house for Halloween and they aren’t allowed to pass out candy.  Great.  My neighbors probably think we’re sex offenders.  Guess I’m going to have to do something big for Halloween next year to squash those rumors……