Nightmares…

One of these days soon, I’ll get to completing Overdue Confessions.  I just don’t have the heart right now.  It’s not a really happy story and the ending is pretty sad.  Reader’s Digest version is I’m now single, unemployed, and recovering after a pretty nasty mental collapse.  More to come.  So instead, I’ll discuss something else for the time being.

Lately, and by lately I mean the past 8-9 months, I’ve been sporadically plagued with nightmares.  And not your run-of-the-mill nightmares, either.  These seem so real.  It’s like I’m actually living them.  Time passes pretty slowly in my dreams so they seem to last a very long time.  I don’t have nightmares about monsters or demons or anything like that.  My nightmares are usually about someone who I feel close to hurting me…physically, mentally, and/or both.  I also have my prophetic nightmares.  In these, I witness something bad happening in my life, and it usually comes true.  And by bad, I don’t mean like someone dying or anything like that.  It’s usually someone lying to me or being deceitful or something along those lines.  And then I have the "what-if" nightmares, where I live out my life after I made a different choice when I had been presented with an option.

When I have a nightmare, I usually just wake up, cruise the internet for a bit until my head clears, and then go back to sleep.  Except for when I have the prophetic ones…and that’s what I had tonight.  These dreams usually come true in some form or another.  They don’t play out like deja vu, but the message of it does happen.  It’s very disturbing and I’m never able to fall back asleep because of it. 

I don’t want this one to come true.  There’s not much left of my heart to break…..