Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes….

I got word today from our regional office in Irving that they really want me to come up there and work.  I turned them down last time they asked, but this time I think I’ll accept.  I talked to Joe about it and he seems so indifferent on it, so I gotta ask….what’s the point of staying if he doesn’t care if I go?  All my family used to live here, but they all up and moved.  All my friends used to live here as well, but they all went away as well.  There’s really nothing here for me any more.  If Joe would just say to me that he wants me to stay, I’ll stay!  The job will give me a 25% pay increase, paid moving expenses, and an extra week of vacation.  And since I haven’t heard a peep out of HP on the job I applied for there, I can’t find any reason not to take this one.

But I’m still conflicted.  Joe and I have been together for almost 9 years and I feel like none of that matters to him.  I don’t think a long distance relationship would work out for us.  We’d only see each other one weekend every month or so and he spends a lot of time chattin’ with guys online.  I’m sure it won’t be long after I’m gone before I’ve been replaced.

Maybe going to the Dallas area will be good for me.  I’ll meet lots of new people (which I just LOVE doing…I can be center of attention to a whole new audience!) and I’ll live closer to my best friend Zane.  Maybe I’ll meet someone who won’t be embarrassed to hold my hand in public even when we are at a gay club.  Maybe I’ll meet someone who’ll actually care about how my day went.  Maybe I’ll meet someone who’s not still in the closet!  Maybe this, maybe that.  For all I know, I could move there and be just absolutely miserable and lonely.

I have a feeling that this is one of those forks in The Road of Life®.  One will make my life better, the other not so much.  I just wish I knew which was which.  It’s times like this I hate being a Libra…