Surprise!!

   My younger brother called me lastnight, i couldnt believe it! he was away for awhile, and he sounded good, says hes going to straighten up and he thanked me for the Christmas card i sent him last year, he said he was thrilled with it, no one was sending him anything, my younger sister told me she was writting him, apparently, she lied, so what else is new? ughhh!
   He also asked me about what was going on with her, she told him nothing, so, i told him everything, he was shocked that she got the rest of the kids’ taken away from her, i told him why and what else has happened, he said "maybe she needs to hit bottom and stay there awhile", the problem with that is she’s been there so many times, she will never change…. I heard from her last week or so and before that i didnt hear from her since early June, and the only thing she wanted this time was a number for a lawyer and to tell me that Bill’s  mom tried to kidnap Damon, and i havent heard from her since…
   Jim said he has changed and he is not going back, i dont know, i want to believe it, but, he has said it so many times before, of course they are my brother and sister, the only family i have left and i love them and want to believe in them so bad, but, they have disapointed me so much in the past..
   I think Michael is worried that i will get hurt again, but, thats me, i forgive and forgive and forgive some more, and thats just not my family, Jim’s ex said to me one time that i keep giving people chances, i never give up, that ive always been that way, i guess i never realized that about myself, i know theres good in everyone and eventually that person will get on the right track, my other brother told me before he died that i dont stand up for anyone else or myself, i just dont like argueing, so, i let alot of stuff go, until it boils over inside of me, then all hell breaks loose, then its not pretty.:(… its amazing how people know me better than i know myself..
   im not perfect, ive done some bad things when i was younger, things i regret, but i havent travelled down the road my brother and sister have, and if i had kids’ you can bet your ass that i would take care of them and they wouldnt get taken away, its amazing how we have the same parents’, but, yet, we are all so different, Mikey and i were the same, he never did what they did either, him and i were really close and Holly and Jimmy were closer, not that we dont love each other, we do, i guess when your traveling down the same path as someone else you are just closer to that person…
   Growing up i always felt like the "black sheep" i was always different, and although i still feel that way, at least i can say i dont make the bad choices that they have, i feel good about that, but, so sad for them.:(

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