Driving test today….

 

Today is the day, i am scheduled for 11:15, and i have to show up 15 minutes early, so, i have too  be at the DMV at 11 for my drivers’ test..

   Tina is letting me use their car, its a smaller car, i cant remember what kind it is, but, Michael said they stopped making them, and Tina says I should have no problem paralell parking it..

   I am so scared that im going t do something wrong, Tina said the first thing they do is have you parallel park, if you fail that part, your done, they dont take you any farther..

   I have to pass this test, i just have too! Michael is depending on me, i dont want to let him down, but, I know when i want something bad enough and try my best, it never works out…

   I have to believe in myself, adn so far, i cant do it, i couldnt wait for this day to come, i kept saying, i can do it, i can do it, but, now that this time is here, i dont know if i can.:(

   yesterday while practicing the parallel parking, ihit a cone, i was so devastated, i did it before on my own and this time i messed up, i did it after that and was fine, but, all it takes is one wrong move and im done, what if i start shaking? ill be in with a complete stranger wh will be watching my every move! if that isnt reason to get all nerveous and sahke i dont know what is..

   I had a talk with Mikey lastnight, I asked him to be there with me, in the car, guide my hands and foot and of course my eyes, I told Michael i would have 3 passengers in the car with me while i take my test, Mikey, mom and dad…

   I know i have until the beginning of August to get my liscense, but, we are moving on the 27th or 28th, so, this is really my last chance, someone has to drive that green car out of here, and someone has to drive that motor home, i have so much stress on me i feel sick, yesterday i had an awful migrain and thank God i fell asleep and it went away, i need to be fully aware today and i need to not be sick..

   Im just a bundle of nerves and i dont need that this morning, when im like that i get jumpy and do stupid things!

   Tina is going to meet Bob and i over at the mall in the parking lot at 8:30, so i can take the car and get used to driving it, like i said its a small car and thats what i like, so i should be able to handle it, im praying that i can, and that i pass this, if i do pass, ill just be so happy that i might start crying, but, at least ill have passed and nothing will matter then, nothing except that i finally, after all these years, got my liscense..

   Everyone says, "if you fail the first time, its ok, alot of people fail their first time" but, its not ok for me, putting aside the fact that we are moving, i will beat myself up, get angry with me and think i can never do anything, plus, Michael will be very disapointed in me, and i dont want that, i want him to be proud..

   So, God, Mikey, mom and Dad, if you can hear me, I need you right now, especially at 11 when i take this test, please be with me, and guid me, take away this doubt that is in my heart, give me the confidence to know that I CAN pass this, please let me walk away with a drivers’ liscense…

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June 19, 2007

also make sure you stop behind the stop lins first then slowly roll to the intersection to make sure that way is clear before intering the intersection i failed my first test om that one

June 19, 2007

good luck 🙂