Let Me be your Son Again

Perhaps I go back.
To a time of innocence,
at time when my children
thought I was a god.
A time when…
fast forward to now;
My children are gods now fallen,
to swords  their children bear.
 
I stand here at my parents grave,
a cold north wind
blows bitter from bay.
Father forgive me,
Mother I love you.
I always loved you.
 
I always valued,
the gift of learning
that you gave.
 
Buried Robert,
then, Ronald his father
Nellie,
wife and mother.
All her wants and yearnings
All her hopes and fears
Mother I understood you
Mother I shed a tear.
 
Perhaps I saw the moment
In a dim and buried past
The source of all your demons
That would test you till the last
When in the darkened room
A creeping soul disturbed
A touching hand and warning voice…
 
Frozen in time,
lost forever in your mind
Not now known even to yourself
Your father violated you.
And you could not be free
Could not marry my father
Till deaths reign took hold of him.
 
My father never knew this
And god knows neither did you
But it coloured all your feelings
Good, bad and misunderstood.
 
Let me now release you
Let me thank you for your pain
And know it
brought me love and caring
And I love you just the same
 
Let you ask of you forgiveness
For I often misunderstood
Let me take your hand in innocence
And be your son again.