CHAPTER 6 – CUPIDO

Love is what flows the thoughts, feelings, and emotions to my heart.

I crave the eternal touch of another – that moment when your hand grazes my face, outlining my jaw like it was one your best paintings. It is present in the lines of your smile when you laugh, like a galaxy exploding, your dimples are there to follow. Centuries before us came love. Our ancestors built communities and houses out of it. I’m starting to think that love is the idea of relying on another human being to help bring you back to safety. Think about it, every room that love doesn’t exist in, dies. The light of love is not one to be gambled with. Are there moments you can think about where the light of love is present in your life? Where did that feeling carry your body to?

I’m really learning to see the light of love more frequently. I know it’s around me, I can sense it’s presence but sometimes the smoke screen gets too much. I inhale it and watch it fill up my lungs and I become ignorant to it all. They say you have to be the one who saves yourself, and while that is true, what if it was love? You decided to give yourself the love you never had. Not to other people or to other people like you, but to you. You finally let the thoughts and feelings that make your stomach churn go, wishing all of your negative past selves with good intentions and bountiful change to come in their future. But what I feel caused this to happen behind all of the scenes was love. To make room for yourself to exist. That is love. To remember that the human consciousness is everlastingly expanding, consistently morphing and adapting to whatever life challenges come your way is formed through love. That you are a  human being capable of making mistakes but also able to take and grow from them and that is love. We are always becoming new people that are always deserving of love. Say it again.

We are always becoming new people that are always deserving of love.

The more focus I shift towards the expansion that love brings to my life, the more I realize I want to be able to give it to those in my life forever. If I ever and have ever loved you, just know you sit on a blanket of grace in my heart. I would still pick roses for you in the garden of the sky. I’d still use your name to the highest of achievement. My love knows no boundaries. It is limitless to the power of who I naturally am and came to be. I cannot change that I love to love. I feel as though I’ve lost friends for my love of love. I visit Love in the evening when I’m feeling lonely and lost. Love makes me remember who I am when I’m crying in my bed at midnight and I can’t fall asleep. I can’t make you love me and I think that used to bother me. My presence would make your Love feel weak, like you’re caught in the eye of the storm. I give myself the love I need. I breathe it in where your smoke used to be and let my Love’s sunflowers and tulips and roses have a home to sway in the breeze. I am free. My love is free.