The Reality of Dating

Why is it so difficult to date?

The idea of dating is inconceiveable; however, it is a lot simpler than most people make it out to be. The concept of dating is not unfamiliar, though; it has been around for centuries. Although it has eased up a little once hitting the 20th century, much of the same rules still apply today.

Again, why is dating so difficult? Society has set standards for how a person, or rather specifically a man, should behave while on a date. The point of dating, it would seem, is to become familiar with the other person, hopefully blossoming into a full-fledge relationship… complete with all the nuances and emotional baggage. While my opinion on dating would seem rather cynical, be it known that I am also not one to conform with the herd (in this case, society).

Society has always poked its ugly head into other people’s business, most of the time brainwashing them in order to maintain what it believes to be perfection. Society is not perfect. As we have witnessed countless times its falling out. Keep in mind that society can fall without everything else going with it. I believe the concept of society is held in the minds of those who want to control it… But it is not something to be controlled. I think Society exists simply to enslave the minds of the weaker individuals who will succomb to its every way. Society is that kid that always demanded attention and did anything and everything to get it.

Look at me. Look what I can do. Do what I do.

Most of the time when people begin to complain about the difficulty of dating, they have either reached a point in their lives where they just can’t seem to get themselves to pursue anything. Or maybe some people have just had it with dating in general. They want to cut through the vines to get to the meaty part of a relationship, bypassing all the fronting.

Cynicism. Certainly spawns from lazy individuals who can’t hack it in the dating world. Am I one of them? I suppose I could be. I could also be the one boycotting the idea of dating for arguement’s sake. While I wholeheartedly believe in the essence of dating as a way to meet someone in any particular setting in an exchange of a wealth of information that could potentially lead to a lasting friendship or even more than that.

But on the surface, that is something easy to accomplish. The really interesting part is when it comes to the point when decisions have to be made. While I know I am pinballing through this monologue, it is important that I swap discussions in order to stay focused on the task at hand.

For a relationship to take place, or even friendship, two people (or more) have to agree upon one specific detail: where do we stand.

If one person can feel strongly about the other, but the other person does not share that same emotion, where do they stand? Simple. Separate. One person is not sharing the same boat and therefore cannot continue the relationship. It’s a pretense of a relationship: to continue would be futile for both parties.

This is where dating becomes complicated. How do you decide when you do not fit within the same emotional boundaries as the person you thought you were interested in? Being honest is the best way to convey that disinterest.

Once that has been completed, the vicious cycle continues. And it may as well keep on going, because there are people out there who are incapable of committing themselves to a relationship with someone or anyone for that matter.

I find myself standing on the outside of society, looking in at all that is going on, in hopes of being able to observe and understand its inner workings. However, that leaves me in a very… well… secluded position. Being there changes my perception when I become involved in any type of situation similar to the ones I observe. As I mentioned earlier, there are some people who are incapable of really digging deep into a relationship.

The world is changing. But Society is still trying to tell people how to live. It must be stated that all those who live their lives without a significant other are empty and barren; however, I do not believe this is true. I am in the know of people who are living their lives as we speak without the need for a significant other. Yet for some strange reason, Society wants to single them out as introverted wimps who "have no lives."

On the contrary, I believe. "’Tis better to have lost loved than to have never known love at all…" Some people have gone through enough heartbreak to not want to have to deal with the fiasco again. We are quick to judge others because Society dictates how we should respond to choices that do not directly relate to the common order.

If you think this, therefore you must be this. Everybody does it one way or another for any number of circumstances. Hell, even I have been a suspect in one of those circumstances. We are blind to the powers Society has over all of us.

Dating is frightening. Is it really important for the other person to know more about you than they know on the surface? Sex is also a big issue when it comes to dating. Some people are motivated to date as a way to become sexually active; but there are rules that are set up to keep people from crossing that line. Yet I always find that sex is taboo. Why talk about it when it doesn’t concern the current party? I have no answer. I am being silenced by Society.

Non-conformists to Society are not ammoral individuals. They have morals. Some of them are good people.

I don’t want to live a life of uncertainty. I don’t want to fall into a repeated pattern of existence. If I am to live on this planet for the remainder of my days, I want to be in full control of my choices… free of ridicule. However… Society does not want me to be a non-conformist. I must live my life the way Society dictates it to be lived by.

If I am to enter into the realm, the reality, of dating… how do I convince the interested party that I am not one to fall in line with what Society tells us we should do or be?

I don’t live a cookie-cutter lifestyle. I am unpredictable. I am coy.

I am fearful of the reality of dating.