Hundred-Forty-One: I Have to Undo This

Entry For NOJOMO #20

.Tanya Faith.Can’t Change the Past

Alana and I still sat going through grandmother’s things. Sometimes we would find a treasure that would make us cry, or an item that made us laugh. It was a emotional rollercoaster for us and we weren’t about to get off soon.

“So what do you see in that…filthy vampire?” Alana asked. “No offense,” She quickly added.

“I know that everyone thinks they’re beneath us but they’re not the same kind of vampire Dracula was sis. They’re not bloodsucking villains. Maybe they used to be…but they’ve trained themselves to live off the land now. They are able to eat human food and they don’t kill people.”

“That you know of,” She quickly added. I wanted to argue that was she was in love with a future death eater but bringing Draco into the conversation only leads to sadness. “Well he is a cutie and seems to be smitten by you but if I had to choose a Shadow brother, I’d go for the older one.” She bit her lip.

I sighed heavily. “Kaden? Yeah I did go for him…and he rejected me but Zeke is really good too, ya know.”

Alana looked at me like she didn’t understand. I guess she still thinks in the old tradition of the veela. Grandmother would never have a relationship with a vampire but my heart does what it wants to. So what if they’re not rich and prestige.

Three Hours Later

We decided to go back to mother’s house. We couldn’t bare it anymore at grandmothers today.

“Alana, Tanya! My girls!” Mother ran over to us. “When did you come home?”

“A week ago….” I trailed off with attitude.

“Oh I’m sorry. I was on a mission in Italy. I love the Italian Men. Pierre owed me a favor. Come, sit. You girls should visit more often!” Mother slurred her speech as she talked. We both gave her a suspicious look; one she must’ve recognized because she quickly added in “Don’t worry it’s just wine…Pinot Grigio.”

“Nice to see you too, mother.” Alana sit down and held her belly. We didn’t want her knowing yet.

“Ah girls, we have so much to catch up on. I wasn’t expecting you so soon though….Look at you Alana. You’re developing bags under your eyes, and Tanya, you can see the black circles around yours. Seems like you girls are going through a lot. It shows. You know you only get once face.” Mother was already criticizing us. “I’m sorry about your love, darling. I knew Luscious well…” She seemed to be having memories. “But that was centuries ago when I was a student,” She laughed.

Alan and I looked at each other as if we didn’t want to be here anymore. Mother was putting a huge damper on the mood.

Told from Kaden’s POV

Snape’s class wasn’t the same without my partner in crime. As much as I liked Kayleen, I didn’t like the chase. Most people do but I don’t. It tires me too much. Yet, I was stuck with her as a partner.

“I’m sorry about what happened in Burbage. I wish you would’ve finished your writing. It was interesting but I don’t know what it was about.” I said, suspecting it was her self-mutilating.

“It’s a secret, Kaden. Just leave me alone about it already.” Kayleen turned away from me. She began to twirl her bracelet. “You think you know me so well.” She rolled her eyes. I was beginning to become a little annoyed.

“I know that you cut yourself!” I whispered as I unbuttoned her bangle-bracelet. She slapped me across the face and then laughed nervously.

“You think my writing was about what I do to cope?! Like I said you think you know me so well but you don’t know anything,” Her arm went flying in the air. She stormed up to Snape’s desk.

“I don’t want to be his partner anymore!” Kayleen screamed at tears. Immediately Snape whipped his cloak around and came toward me.

“I told you Mr. Shadows….one more time and you will be switched. I knew you two weren’t….” Snape gave me his famous sneer. “Compatible.” Snape looked around the room. “Colin, switch partners with Mr. Shadows.” He pointed. I smirked.

“No way!” Colin defended. “Tanya has always been my partner…” he tailed off.

“You’re right Mr. Creevy. The two make a ghastly pair with their antics,” Snape thought.

“He can be my partner….” Kayleen said twirling her bracelet around. “It’s okay.”

Snape turned his head back around and started to teach class.

“We don’t have to get along, Kaden but I’d really like it if you’d stay out of my business.”

Class was dismissed at that point. I gathered my things and ran to the boys dormitory. I threw my books down in anger.

“Calm down, brother!” Zeke said picking up my things.

“I have to get out of here!” I exclaimed. “I really don’t want to talk to you right now!”

“Because of that poem you wrote yesterday? You think I’m stupid, don’t you? You had your chance with her Kaden!” Zeke pushed me.

“Please. She’s just settling for you!” I pushed him back.

“You scare women away! Anastasia, Tanya, and now little Kayleen who hasn’t do anything to you!” Zeke spit in my face. “You’re just jealous!”

I didn’t have time for this. I locked myself in my room and gathered my belongings. I wanted to make a trip to France to settle this once and for all.

Excerpt taken from entry Ninety : The Odyssey Part One.Five

Kaden began to laugh at me. “Well you’re confident, aren’t you? Have anyone you want? Tanya. You have to look at it this way: the people who went after you are the people in which nobody else wanted. Nobody wants to date Potter because he’s always been chased by he-who-must-not-be-named. Colin is….well Colin, and Draco….ah Draco. I don’t know who in the right mind would want to date a snob such as him.” Kaden then placed his fingers in his hand. “Except for your sister, Alana.” He continued. “Tanya

– it wasn’t that I didn’t like you – I just knew that like Harry, I attract dangers. We’re as outcast at the centaurs. Besides – I couldn’t get to know you at first with you always…well always trying to hug me. Talk to me. I did like you. It was an attraction at first sight but relationships…aren’t my thing.” Kaden took a deep breath. “I have thought about it. Me and you. It makes sense. But we should be friends Tanya. Eventually you’ll have to go back to Hogwarts and I’ll be wandering the world. Unless you want to come….”

t took me a minute to reply. I was soaking in my first rejection. “Kaden – I don’t understand. “He put his arms around me. “Showing you any kind of affection will just put you in the category of danger. Dumbledore will do his best to protect you but after a while, you will be like this – and on the run. I can’t kiss you. I can’t touch you. I do love you and this is the best way to protect you, Tanya. Don’t you think it kills me? It kills me to the point that I question if all this hiding is worth it. That if I had just few weeks with you, if I got captured, it would be worth it. I have to worry about you though and we can never be because of it.”

This was my mistake, and I had to be the one to undo it. I looked at the window and thought of busting through it like Tanya for dramatic effect but I didn’t.