Jimmy cheated on me…
By watching porn when he knows how much it upsets me. 🙁
I was at the hospital with my friend Missa helping her go through labor (holding her hand, talking to her)and I saw on the Saved Programs thing on On Demand that he had watched porn – 50 minutes out of 87 minutes. He said it was on fast forward and wasn’t porn because it was R rated. I got home from the hospital today and that’s when I saw it. He doesn’t seem to think it’s cheating, when it is, and that I’m being stupid. He says if I would just put out once in a while, he wouldn’t have to watch porn which is such bullshit because I know even if we were having sex 100 times a day, he’d still cheat on me by watching porn.
I told him to have respect for me and not watch porn when he knows it upsets me and he told me to "hit the road" if I thought he was cheating. Then he yelled out "Do you want me to cheat on you?" and I screamed back "You already are!" and he mocked me – like always. I told him I hoped he got AIDS from his whores and died. I do, too. I hope he rots in Hell. If divorce wasn’t so expensive, I knew for a fact I’d get sole custody of MY kids (he’s just the lousy sperm donor)and if we had somewhere to go I’d file in a second. Missa’s lucky – she doesn’t have some bastard around like I do. She was smart – she divorced her first husband and broke up with her boyfriend.
*Hugs*
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🙁 Sorry to hear this
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What a horrible way for him to treat you. I think most men sneak a look at porn when they think they can get away with it…..
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*HUGS* You are right, he is wrong. It is cheating.
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*hugs* I’m sorry to hear all that. He shouldn’t be doing that! RYN: Thanks for your note. I guess I should have made that say “So many people” look down on young marriage. I know it’s not everyone!! I hope things work out with your husband (though I don’t know the whole story – that may not be what you want). Take care!
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RYN: Sure is.
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I’m sorry he’s treating you that way.
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My boyfriend is a porn addict. Like you, I have a serious problem with it…it really shoots down my self image, but he just doesn’t get it. Sometimes I’ve wanted to break up with him–he can be SO insensitive about it–(and unlike you and your husband, we are not married and don’t have kids, etc. so I’m sure it is 10x worse for you). But I guess I decided I really love him and porn is
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something he has always done, enjoys, does not want to give up (Ha…or CAN’T give up…), and he honestly does not see it as cheating. So I’ve just accepted it, though I’ll always hate it. And the deal between us is, whenever he looks at porn he owes me a back rub. :-p I can never get enough of those, so that helps me accept it more. Maybe you can come up with some “reward” he should give you
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in exchange for his smutty choices in TV programs. It might clear the air between you a little bit, I don’t know. I hope you can resolve this issue with him…it’s so painful. 🙁
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oh dear….i’ve been in this situation… and really, you’re overreacting. it’s not cheating. yeah, maybe he watched a little porn but that’s way different than lying in bed naked looking into the eyes of someone you love. watching a woman have sex on television and having sex are not the same things.
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he is the father of your four beautiful children. he doesn’t screw around with other women.. he works hard to provide and care for you.. I mean… is this porn thing really such a big deal? (maybe you could watch it with him!)
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I’ve talked to my husband extensively about pornography…and really Tams, I know it’s hard to understand, but it doesn’t have anything to do with how they feel about us…I mean…your husband can be aroused by other women..you can be aroused by other men…find other people attractive….fantasize about certain things..but…he’s WITH you. He’s a good husband, father, provider. this is nothing
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to break apart a family over. those women are objects to him… sex objects….. devoid of any emotion …. you understand?
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I mean..I just really really feel for you..becausue I know how much it hurts and how bad it makes you feel…..because I’ve been there…and it was horrible…..so horrible…. but when you stop and talk things out..think things through…you see, that really, it’s no big deal. I mean there are husbands who go out and sleep with strange women and give their wives STDs…sometimes resulting in
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infertility. There are men who rape their wives…beat their wives….lie and cheat and carry on affairs for years….men that care nothing for their children…men who abuse children….and you, Tams….you got a good guy..who takes care of his kids…who loves his family..and his wife…. and this really… try to really see that this isn’t cheating.
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and doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you.
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Do you think he would be willing to see a marriage counsellor about this? Maybe that could help? I wish you had a better situation right now. I know that has to be very hard. I am so sorry! Do you still love him? Do you want to stay married? If he changed and respected you more, would you want to? Just curious. You don’t have to answer.
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Yuck – sorry you’re going through this. I know this kind of thing doesn’t feel good. ryn: The Sims 2. 🙂 And color me clueless… what’s the legacy challenge?
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ryn: oooh, just checked it out. Looks like SO much fun! Might just have to try that myself. 🙂
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*Sighs* Tom looks at porn on the computer. I hate it.
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No, hon, that is not cheating. i think it is kind of normal for guys and not a reflection on you. you should not feel threatened, you already have him. Unlike us, men need the visual effect sometimes. too bad you can’t watch WITH HIM. Maybe that could be fun? He sounds like a good husband and father. be glad he is only looking at porn and not running around on you with other women. hugs
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