He’s gone. :(

My little brother is gone. 🙁 He left not too long ago and who knows when we’ll see each other again. 🙁 It’s hard to believe he’s only been here nine (9)days and now he’s not here anymore. 🙁 I feel so lonely because now I don’t have anyone to talk to, other than the kids and I know if they got into stuff Jimmy would yell at me again – he didn’t while Matt was here because I guess he doesn’t want him to know he says things to me like "Why weren’t you watching them? What kind of Mom are you? Oh, wait – let me guess. You were just sitting on your butt all day, like usual." etc. But that’s not why I miss Matt. I miss him because having him here reminded me (and him, too)of growing up. Eating together, watching tv and movies, hanging out, talking… He reminds me of our Mom and Dad – reminds me of when Mom was alive, Dad wasn’t in prison, we all lived in the same house. A time when I was young and free and happy. I’m happy now, don’t get me wrong – but it’s a different kind of happy.

I have to go – Jocelyn needs to be fed and changed, I need to finish making breakfast for me and the kids, need to stop crying eventually. Is it weird that I can still hear Matt in the house?

*hugs*