Thoughts on Thursday

 

 

 I am frustrated right now. 

My little ticker at the bottom of the page isn’t moving at all. 

I have seen OD do great things over the years. Raised much more money in shorter amounts of time. For various causes. I have also seen other diarist ask for things and no one responds. 

I have also seen diarist given things they haven’t asked for because they needed it.

I wonder what the difference is? What makes one person more popular, or one persons need greater than the other? It interesting from a sociological standpoint. 

My neices the twins are now 6 months old. They are in the 97th percentile. for height which puts them taller than mine. They weight almost as much as him too. Their head is even proportional to their bodies. They are crawling and doing awesome 

I fear he is so little because he isn’t eating enough? I don’t know. The kid eats all the time though. I don’t know. He hasn’t gotten any longer in 3 months. I think he should be. 

At least he is scooting and sitting, and has recenlty begun to say babababa, mamama, dadadada, hi. It is awesome and I love him sweet little baby voice. Seriously is there anything cuter than their baby voices?

My MIL called to ask me how Sabastian was doing I told her, and she was happy he is growing. She told my my 10/11 month old neice is still struggling to sit by herself, and just screams. Poor girl. I wish her mom would do something, but she insists every baby moves at their own pace, while I beleive that too. At some point you need to look again, and the constant screaming, plus not moving forward. At some point it doesn’t hurt to ask. 

Sabastian  also rolls. It gets him in trouble too. He sleeps half the night in the crib, and then when daddy goes to work he snuggles with me to nurse. (BTW he only woke up 2xs last night!!!!) Well I got up and he likes to roll in my warm spot, well he rolled and rolled and rolled and fell off the bed still asleep. He rolled in the oppisite way of his crib of course.( I think it is time for a bed rail again)  My poor baby boy. Of course it was nothing nursing couldn’t fix. If only that didn’t make me cringe.

I do think he is the cutest baby I have ever seen. Really I do. I doubt any other baby will ever be as beautiful as he is. 

I got all the paper work I need ready for the insurance company last night and almost all of it ready for the grant.

I was proud of the papers. 30 plus pages of information on Autism and ABA therapy, plus a picture of my daughter. I am hoping it will lead to them softening on the issue. I did read something intersting. The state of illinois does not allow my insurance company to place limits on her therapy until she is 21 because they are for Autism, and any desicions regarding denile of aba must come from a dr trained in Autism. I also found this press release. Which basically means that the government insurance now classifies ABA as a medical treatment not an educational one. IEven if my kids never get ABA maybe it will help others in the future if enough of us now ask. 

Oh and the Caring for Military Kids with Autism Act passed the house, it just needs to pass the senate and then Obama needs to sign it and well it can be killed at any point. 

I promised to take Samara more fun places today. i don’t know where but hopefully free. We have been going to parks, (different ones) and we even went bowling because I won like 10 free games. I like being a mom who does things with my kids. My mom was never that mom. She was always too sick to care or do anything. I don’t want to be like her. I want to be the mom that regularly says, yes we can go to the park. You want to have your friends over sure We’ll call them. Yes, we can read books, and go to the library, yes we can go to the zoo (we have a memebership) yes of course we can go to science central (membership there too, because it is cheaper to have one to the little museum here, than pay admission once in Chicago). I like spending time with my kids. I like being a mom. It truly is awesome. I love being on summer vacation because I am less stressed and have more time for them. 

My only setback is Money

I still need more money. Yes, more money for Sabastian. My ticker hasn’t moved at all, I still have faith it will move. That the money will be there and I don’t need to worry, so why am I? Maybe because I am human, and because I am a mom.