the hospital in the day light

Come morning I have had about 5 hours of broken sleep. Between nurses, fussing kids (not all my own), contractions, and alarms, sleep is not happening. The "bed" for parents isn’t bad though. You know they used to have worse. 

We have been trying to get him to eat or drink anything. The hospital is not too awesome about gf/ef diets. Dietary just came in and told me they have chicken nuggets! Maybe he will eat that. Maybe. 

He is staying here until he perks up, and the tummy issues slow down, and he is eating and drinking indepenently again. 

All he is doing is crying at me or sleeping. Never at the nurses only me. You know, its okay. I am mom. I am supposed to be the one who gets the brunt of it. It means they feel safe enoguh with me to let me know how unhappy they are. 

I am getting crap for not having him vaccinated against this. Yes, in theory I could have had him vaccinated, and in theory he might not be hospitalized. In theory. Or in theory he could have had it and still be here. Or the vaccine could have been worse than this. 

My point is there is no knowing. WIthout vaccininating him I am not exposing him to increased risk of injury. I am exposing him to bugs in the community. Most of those are treatable. Then I look at my mom with a vaccine injury and I see how that is not treatable. I made my choice. I know not everyone has to agree with it. 

Other than the vaccine thing, and the food thing, things are going well. The hospital staff is prompt and attentive. They are helpful and caring. They do their job well, and I am happy we are here in the big hospital and not in the small one in my town. 

He is still not better, but every once in a while I see almost a smile. 

I am waiting for Travis to show up after work to give me a break. He is not handling this well as usual. Once again it doesn’t mater how tired I am or how pregnangt I am or how sick kids are, he can barely deal with himself, let alone life. PTSD doesn’t take a break because I need it too. I still have to care for him as well.

Bonnie is brining Samara tonight. I am so looking forward to seeing her. I miss her so much, and I know my absesne hurts her as well. I am hoping maybe her and I can go down for ice cream or something while Bonnie stays with Sabastian. 

I have been trying to get ahold of his mom to let her know, but no luck yet.

I am so hungry… Waiting on my lunch. 

And I am still pregnant. The baby is so low it feels like my water will break if I sneeze… BUt 39 weeks. I had Sabastian at 38 and Samara at 39w3d. So maybe… 

Now to wait for lunch, and deal with the unbareable isolation that is the hospital.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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