one week, six years, & helpless*

 It is one week since SIrris has arrived. The week has been a long blur.

I am so tired all I can think of is crying sometimes. I honestly feel like passing out at any given moment. I think most of it is my iron is at a 6 now. How am I survivng? One moment at a time.

I wish I could say I had more hlep, but Travis went right back to work, and is back to his normal self. I have to care for him, and all three kids. It is all too much right now. I have to drive Samara to therapy do homework, make dinner, clean, the works. Didn’t I just have major surgery a week ago? 

And my siblings? Laughs…

I don’t even know what I would ask for if I had the help.

I have begun to have some serious nightmares about his birth as well. The lack of pain medication was horrific. No person should be in that much pain, and not be able to do anything about it.

Sabastian is incredibly crazy…. all he does is screaM and cry all day…

Today is Samara’s 6th birthday, it is going as well as to be expected. I will share pictures when and if my computer is ever fixed. Sighhh…

We went to breakfast by ourselves, and then we came home and grandma and grandpa came over, we had hamburgers and french fries, vanilla cake and opened presents. She finally got her Barbie fishing pole…

Overall, it has been a nice day, tensions just feel high with the new baby, and where normally I can keep it all togehter, I am struggling right now..

Did I mention I feel like crying? The urge has never been so strong with any baby.

And I find myself incredibly sad this is my last child.

This is so not the entry I wanted to write today, but it is all I can muster, please forgive me, when I find myself again, I will let you know.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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