On first half birthday’s

 My little guy is now 6 months old which makes today his first Half Birthday!

How has he gotten so old so fast?

And has it really been  months since I have slept?

I am still nursing him, and am happy to be doing so.

He loves food, he loves eating. Although he can’t have apples. He throws them up. Like violently throws them up. I looked it up and Apple allergies are related to soy allergies. Which I have.

He is the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen in my life. i am so in love with him. Seriously, I can’t take this kid anywhere without people stopping in their tracks to comment on how beautiful he is. I wish I could capture on film just how cute he is in person. He has such big wide eyes, and is always so alert. 

I am happy he is mine.

He starts services here soon. I got word from my service coordinator that he has eligability for on-going services. I have written goals for her already and know what services I want to start, and have dates and times available for them. I am super on top of it this time. Since this isn’t my first child going through this I feel more confident. 

If you check the infant milestones he is only about 3 months. It makes me sad in a way. So many people I read on here have babies of similar age and well they have all surpassed him by leaps and bounds. I wish it weren’t so but it is.

The only people outside diaryland who knows anything is father, Bonnie, and Travis. The rest of the world doesn’t know. No one will handle the news well, and will blame me. Or us for it. It is the only boy, and I must have done something. Or we should have known better than to gamble having one child with special needs. You know what. Travis and I talked about it before we conceived and knew this was a possibility, and we chose to love him anyways. I know I did nothing wrong. I know my child is special and wonderful no mater what happens, or what anyone says.I will tell people eventually, but I will wait for the full report and know what happens with therapy and such before I say anything.

I am a bit sad you know. Not just this but other things going on in other areas. 
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But you know what doesn’t make me sad?

I found out I have full financial aid for next year! So excited for that! Now I just need to figure out childcare and therapy. But you know if anyone can pull it off I can.

Also we leave for Chicago on Friday morning! I am so anxious. I love Chicago. i wish it were closer. And you know what no Travis!

And with that I am off, I have little girls to take to the library, and things to pack, and houses to clean.