Nerves & the Board of Trustees

 I always say I am fearless. that I can handle anything, and nothing gets to me. 

I lie. 

This morning to board of trustees called, so I could present my case to them about Samara. 

I told them how wonderful and intellegent my child is, but how my daughter doesn’t laugh and smile, struggles socially, and has never looked at me while talking. All things her baby brother can do. I asked them to give her a chance, that she was worth it. 

I told them the school said she was too smart, but not social enough to attend. 

I told them we just want to give her the best life possible. 

I have no idea how it went, and I wont know anything until next week. 

It is so hard with everyone on the phone. Not being able to able to see their faces, or them being able to see mine it was challanging for me. How can I read people when I can not see them?

My  nerves feel shot, and my stomach feels like I have been kicked. (Well in addition to the ever present nausea.)

They said I submitted 38 pages of material, which they have gone over. 

I hope they have. I hope they say yes, and if they dont, I will have tried. Done all this mommy can do, and then I will love my daughter either way.