Needing a moment.

 

 

 I am really struggling this week. Christmas was so wonderful, but now that it is over it has hit me what is known all along. 

I am having this baby way sooner than I am ready for. In fact I am not at all ready for it. I can have this baby sometime in the next 6-10 weeks or so. How did that happen? WHy has this happened? 

Samara goes back to school next week and my heart breaks for her. I feel so guilty sending her, I know she hates it. I am strongly considering not sending her back, and just with drawing her. Maybe we need to go back to a highly unstructured home school plan? On break we have had few meltdowns, smiles giggles, and overall life has been awesome. I know school causes so many issues for her. 

Ughhh… Why are there no simple answers in life? 

Physically I am frustrated, I feel huge, and I am struggling to walk, and this baby is slowing me down. Mentally I am fine, but physically, I am not up to par I think. If I walk to much i have lots of pressure and pain, the never ending contractions are getting old, and the baby is so low everything hurts. 

Travis is laughing at me because I can barely roll over in bed now. Does he not know it isn’t nice to laugh at your pregnant wife? Ok so he isn’t laughing so much out loud but in his head. 

Him and I am really off lately as well… I am so frustrated by him. 

I don’t mean to sound do whiny. Life is good, I am enjoying my kiddos, and I am enjoying the break. It just I needed a moment…..

I need to share Christmas pics… Yes that may help… 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 babyfruit ticker

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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December 29, 2012

It can’t be easy… bit I know you will make the rift choices…

December 29, 2012

ryn: sure that counts.