Life goes out

 Yesterday, Travis’ grandmother died. I knew she would. The day before she was admited to the icu with congestive heart failure. The hospital told them she would be fine, but I had a feeling otherwise. 

She was old and in fairly poor health, and had dementia. She didn’t know who she was, or who anyone was. I doubted she was going to live much longer. 

She was nice. She was the first one in the family to be nice to me, and learn how to spell my name properly. That is something. The kids didn’t really know her because she was almost too far gone for them to even know her.

Travis is sad, his sister is a wreck. I am strangley at peace with it. When they told me, I felt bad for them, but glad for her. Her mind had already left her, and her husband passed 15 some years ago. She has to be at peace now, or I have to believe that. 

To me death is such a strange thing. It almost seems like a mericiful thing at some point in people’s lives. It is the nautral stage of life. Perhaps I would feel differently if they were yonger, but in situations like this, it just seems natural.

The veiwing is on Thursday, I promised to go with Travis. I worry about how he will handle this emotionally. This is one of those things that could send him spiraling quickly. I am not taking the kids with me at all. 

Then the funeral is on Friday. We are all expected to be there for it. 

I had to buy Sabastian an outfit to wear. It was nearly impossible to find him something that didn’t have random words, or pictures on it in his size. I finally found him a plaid shirt, and a pair of kakhis. It looks nice enough, and if it is cooler than it is these days, I have long sleeved shirts to go under it. 

Samara can wear one of her dresses. She has a nice purple and black one that should work well.

I have somehting I can wear over my growing belly I am sure. 

It is Travis that we are wondering about. He needs a suit. My blue collar husband doesn’t own one. I am not sure what we are going to do for one either. He is a pallbarer and so he should look nice. I think the last time he was in a civilian suit was when we were married eight years ago, and the last time I saw him in his dress greens was five. He has gained so much weight since then nothing would fit even if we knew where they were.

I felt the baby move last night for the first time. Irony perhaps. One life leaves, and one life makes its presence known. 

I have more to write about but not this entry. Not now. 

I am worried about the week, school starts, then his family, and everything, I am sure it will be a challanging week.