Learning

 If there is one thing I have learned being a psych major it is this. It is not my position to un-validate anyone’s emotions. 

No one should have the power to un-validate anyone’s emotions or situations. 

Despite how you personally feel, or how many people feel worse, or have done more the truth is this. 

If a person is struggling with something in the here and now it is relevant to them. It is real to them. They are feeling what they are feeling right now.

As an outsider perhaps you have different perspective? Doesn’t mater, you are not going through it. As a care provider it is not my job to take it away, or shame anyone. It is my job to meet the person where they are and help them move forward.

The second major thing I have learned is, children are people as well. They are not little creatures who have no rights or say in their own direction, they do not need to be broken to conform to our wills. Their feelings and emotions are just as relevant and important as mine are. 

Why bring this up?

I am not sleeping tonight because my mind is still so full, and I need to process it better. First thing tomorrow I need to find someone to talk with about this. 

In laying in the dark the thing that has bothered me the most about this entire process is how my child is not being looked at globally as a person with her own thoughts and opinions. 

Instead she is looked at as a test score. 

Yes, on paper she scored the highest in her class on the standardized test (why the heck do kindergartners need to take this?) Academically, this places her in the 1st -2nd grade range.

Yes, on paper she can hold it together long enough to get through the day.

Yes, on paper she is so smart she doesn’t know how to express it all.

However, in real life my child is a person who is valid, and is more than she looks on paper. 

If she has anxiety, then the issue is real to her. If she is afraid of messing up it is real to her. If the class is too loud it is real to her.

When she comes home and tells me she hates school and it is too much it is real to her. 

For her to tell me she is struggling and for me to ignore it means that I am not validating her emotions, nor her place as a human being.

I brought this up to the school, and they informed me I was wrong. That she is just a child and she will do as we tell her. Now wait, are these the people I want educating my child? 

what type of mother would I be if I ignored all of this? as a mother I have learned a few things.

All kids are different, they all have unique needs, and some of them need a little more than others. 

I believe they are amazing people with their own minds and wills. I believe these need to be encouraged to grow, and not broken. Not taken down, or told they are wrong. The world will have its own time to beat down on people, why start now? Or expect them to only take responsibility when they are older?

And then thing I struggle with the most, kids love unconditionally. Even if I screw up they still forgive and love. They don’t even notice. 

I think I know what I am going to do. I am sure the school will not be pleased with me, but I am not there to please them. I am there for my daughter, and she is the most important. As my sons come of age, hopefully I will have this down. I do know this, they most likely will not be attending this school. Even if they are neuro typical, I am not convinced it will be the best for us. 

Either I will figure out homeschooling, or I will find a private school, or I will get a charter school going.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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