5/24/2013
I. read on Facebook today about an old friends perfect birth. part of me died a little more in doing so. really it did. I can’t explain how much it still hurts. I mean even physically it hurts. why because of the stupid fibromyalgia. I hurt more today more than usual, my stomach that is and reading it was just more of a reminder. I don’t get it. I was told I need to learn how to grieve, maybe that’s right. more on that later I suppose, but maybe I should sleep? I finally have had enough to maybe sleep.
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RYN: I didn’t know the difference.
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RYN: No criticism taken! It’s going okay. I’ve had to use an inhaler a few times, and a nebulizer, but it still hurts to breathe. I snuck a percocet and some cough syrup, which helped a lot, but my chest is still so tight. I’ve never felt like this before, so I have no idea what’s wrong. Wish the doc would have addressed that when I saw him. Lungs are important too.
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While I’m not getting to sleep in this weekend, its okay. Even though I pay for Wed/Thur childcare, I’ll be sleeping in until I’m damn ready to get up to take him, since I have off those two days next week. Even if I only sleep in until 9.
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Between you and I (I’ve not told anyone), I applied for a job at the college. Its for a teaching assistant job (probably at the college daycare). It offers childcare and will pay for getting a degree on their time (so basically paying me to go back to school as long as I work with them, too). I haven’t told anyone. Basically, the 2-3 yoa boy that drowned on my shift was too much for me.
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I’m obviously going to keep with what I’m doing, but if this option comes available to me, even if I’m bringing home a little less than I am now, I’m jumping on it. I’m tired of all the dead people…
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