Day 1

 Day 1, days left: 268, weight: 82,5 kg, mood: fine

My exams start next week and this week I have two deadlines. I should be working hard or studying but I can’t seem to motivate myself. I know it’s stupid and ridiculous but I can’t help it. I just hope I pass, I don’t want to repeat some courses..
I’m in my first year of college, studying architecture. I’ve always loved architecture, It’s who I am and what I’m meant to do, at least thats’ what always thought but I’m not so sure anymore. when I was still in high school I wanted to take a gap year before I went to college, I eventually didn’t which I now regret. I feel like I needed that year to clear my head. take some steps back to realize weither or not architecture really is what I want to do. but I feel like I can’t stop now, I feel like it would be giving up, quitting. and I am not a quitter! and besides I’m scared that if I would take a year off that I won’t want to go back to school after and that’s a big risk to take. I’m not good at making decisions and defiantly not big decisions like this one. in other words, I’m stuck.