The Soundtrack To Our Lives
From The Future Is Music! magazine:
Q: So, how did The Original SWAT Orchestra get started?
A: I was by myself, walking to a gig with my guitar, when I ran into a police roadblock. Some guy was holed up in his apartment and randomly firing shots out into the street. I was dumbfounded. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t get to my gig, and I didn’t feel as if I could just turn around and go back home, so I sat down and started to play. Things have been snowballing ever since.
Q: Had you ever done anything like that before?
A: No. I guess the closest I ever came was playing my guitar in my apartment when the couple upstairs got into a fight and they fought a lot! But that was pretty meagre preparation for what I eventually ended up doing with a few of my friends, then a brass band, and now a full orchestra.
Q: So how did that first SWAT gig go for you?
A: Not very well. Part of me was hoping that maybe my music would calm the guy down, help him to take a breath and see things more clearly and surrender, but the cops ended up shooting him dead. I’m just glad I was too busy with my fingering to see it.
Q: So what prompted you to try this again? You started actively searching out other SWAT situations to play at right?
A: Yeah, ummm . I really didn’t know what the reaction might be when I sat down and started playing that day. I suppose I was playing as much for me as anyone trying to settle my own nerves, you know? At some point I thought the cops might actually come over and ticket me or even arrest me for being a nuisance or creating a distraction or something. But I guess they had other things on their mind. When all was said and done and I was packing up and leaving an old neighborhood guy came over and tipped me! Said my music was the best thing to happen in those parts in years. I like to think that maybe just maybe the guy who got shot felt the same way. I think if you’re going to die, it’s better if the last thing you hear is music instead of nothing but gunfire or someone shouting at you through a bullhorn you know? Then there’s all the other people in the neighborhood to think of the people who were too busy running or ducking to express an opinion. I thought of them a lot. In fact, the thought of my having maybe given them some comfort is what prompted me to get a police radio and go to the next SWAT action I heard about. As you might suspect, having a SWAT team show up near your home can be quite disruptive. It might sound pompous, but I think my music reminds people that beauty endures on this earth even as evil things are unfolding right in front of their eyes. And of course it’s been scientifically established many times that music can speed the healing process afterwards.
Q: And so you became “The First Responder of Swing” as you put it in one interview and “The Horny Healer” after you started bringing your trumpet to these things when you discovered that brass notes can be heard above the sounds of sirens and rifle shots better than guitar notes can be. Right?
A: Well, it sounds kind of stupid when you put it like that. But, yeah . The more of these things I went to, the more I felt like I had to go. You know, throughout human history the most important events in our lives have always been accompanied by music. Weddings, funerals, coronations, birthdays, sacrifices, orgies, war. I understand that many surgeons even listen to music during surgery. In retrospect, it seems pretty weird that nobody in American society ever organized bands to accompany police actions before I came along. It’s like it was the one part of our everyday life from which music was purposely excluded or just casually forgotten about. Weird!
Q: And at what point did others start joining in?
A: Well, after my third or fourth SWAT gig the other people I played with in somewhat more conventional venues kinda stopped laughing and thinking I was crazy and started wondering if it was something they might want to do, too. Soon I had two good buddies ready to go with their flute and drum kit whenever I needed them. The ball really got rolling after the local paper did a story about us after we’d played our first SWAT gig that unfortunately ended up with multiple casualties at the scene. A violinist with the symphony saw the story and when he appeared in court the next week for his DWI sentencing, he asked the judge if playing at a SWAT gig with me might fulfill his community service requirement. The judge did a bit of research and said that it would. Word spread fast after that. Most weeks I now have more musicians sentenced to community service than I know what to do with!
Q: And now you have a CD out?
A: Yeah. Pretty amazing, isn’t it? It’s kind of sad in a way, but the steady increase in SWAT situations in recent years has really allowed us to hone our skills. At some point I guess it was inevitable that we’d attract the attention of someone in the music industry who saw a chance to make a fast buck. But of course it’s become much more than that. Sales have exceeded everyone’s expectations. We’re a real phenomenon now with two more CDs in the works and a national tour planned as soon as we can iron out all the bugs inherent in rushing to hostage situations and what not in cities we aren’t personally familiar with. My dream is to do a live CD sooner rather than later. Studios are great and all, but they don’t quite capture what we do best. The studio work, though, still does a pretty good job of drowning out the sound of gunfire if you crank it up enough don’t get me wrong. I’m not here to knock my own CD! [Laughs]
Q: And I’ve heard talk that you might try to franchise this idea or maybe create various look-alike groups like Blue Man Group has done so you can cover even more SWAT situations?
A: All I can say is you’ll just have to stay tuned to your police radio and see!
Q: What do you say to those critics who see what you’re doing as sick, tasteless, repugnant, or worse?
A: I ask them, “What are YOU doing to solve the problem?” It seems to me they’re all either hard at work averting their gaze or self-indulgently wallowing in the horror and the grief as if that’s somehow morally superior to what I’m doing as if hand-wringing at home is a morally superior act to going out into the trenches and making music. Apparently our society has pretty much given up on trying to prevent violence or reduce the insanity that gives rise to it. We’ve given up on trying to keep weapons out of the hands of the violent and the insane. So what’s left other than trying to drown out the sound of all the carnage that inevitably comes our way? And what better way is there to drown it out than a few good tunes preferably ones you can dance to?
Q: That sounds a bit cold….
A: I think it’s a good sign that I’m on the
right track that 6 other guys from around the world have approached me, offering huge grants to establish SWAT team trios and combos and orchestras in their own countries. I think it would be a shame if my critics somehow succeeded in shutting me down and this all becomes one more area that the US pioneered only to be supplanted by foreigners with a better appreciation for what’s good and important.
Q: So is that your greatest fear being shut down by your critics?
A: No. Being shot accidentally is probably my greatest fear. But the fear that I’ll someday be supplanted by a bunch of poorly trained one-man bands utterly incapable of bringing any dignity to the SWAT situation is a close second.
Q: Are you afraid at all of being supplanted by your own CDs?
A: No. CDs are great as far as they go and they’re certainly better than nothing when the lead starts flying but they can’t improvise, they can’t adapt themselves to the situation as it unfolds the way live musicians can. They have yet to make a CD that knows that while it may be ok to open with a disco tune, it’s almost never appropriate to break into one during the middle of tense negotiations, or during an intense firefight, or while the ambulances are being loaded. There’s a reason why the makers of jukeboxes have never tried to do what I’m doing. But like I said earlier, I’m not here to knock my own CD, so consider that one a partial exception to the rule. [Laughs]
Q: Is it true you’re working on some original songs in your spare time?
A: Yeah. Well, a symphony, anyway. Although every SWAT situation is different, they all have some things in common. They tend to follow the same arc. I don’t think Beethoven ever wrote a symphony that followed that arc. I don’t think he or anyone else has ever managed to perfectly capture that arc using just the 88 keys you can find on most pianos. Scott Joplin sure as hell didn’t! I hope to be the first. And maybe I will this winter as it gets colder. Things tend to settle down quite a bit after it gets cold.
Q: What do you do to relax between gigs, or when you’re not looking to expand your business or write symphonies?
A: I drink a lot.
Q: Any last words for those who think you should just hang it all up and get a job somewhere washing dishes instead?
A: If you don’t want me playing at your SWAT event, don’t spark one! But if you’re really intent on sparking one and you also happen to be adamantly against my showing up, be sure to get your name on my “Do Not Play” list. You can register by phone, email, snail mail whatever works for you. Bottom line is, we’re not here to ruin anyone’s day. That’s YOUR job! We’re just here to try to make things a little bit better for everyone. Music can do that, you know. The world will be a better place the moment everyone starts to realize that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I really need a drink.