Perhaps

I’am afraid to plant this seed. The sun is warm, the earth is rich and ready, but the days go by, And still no planting.

Why?

The springtime of my life is passing, too. And ten years’ planting

in a willing soil have borne no living fruit.

So many times I’ve waited, hoped, believed, that God and nature

would perform A miracle Incredible but common.

*sighing*

I’m almost 41 years old and have been trying to conceive for many years. Mother’s day is the hardest day of the year for me. Every month I wait in anticipation for “maybe this is the month”

Cramps in my belly soon bring on my menses, “maybe next month.” I say to BB.

I quit doing the ovulation strips 6 months ago, it really is God’s will. Too depressing to see the negative sign

He has other plans for me.

*thinking*

I’m a mother to 50+ patients who depend on me to give them a good quality of life.

I’m a mother to my dogs Master Tuck and Miss Nells-they look up to me with unconditional love

exhibit A

*pondering*

I’m a step mother to BB’s children. I’m experiencing the difficult teenage years with Craig–getting that knock at 2am ,the harbor police have Craig in the back of the squad car. What do you do with a teenager that has a mind of us own.

You worry and toss and turn at night

I’m an Auntie for so many nieces and nephews that I can’t even count them all without screwing up.

They think I’m funnier than their own mothers

“Crazy Auntie” they call me.

I like to have fun with them, I do things with them their own mothers think are too silly to do.

See exhibit B below

exhibit C

Mabybe next month….

I believe in Miracles, God does work in mysterious ways

this is what I believe

Log in to write a note

Your life is rich and so full of wonderful kinds of love. That said, I’m holding your hand in prayer, asking for that one other miracle your heart hopes for. Love you,

May 8, 2005

We have so much in common. I do feel your pain.

You certainly have a full life, but it doesn’t make it any easier when you want a babe of your own. Wishing you all the best …

May 8, 2005

Hugs,

May 8, 2005

I hope your dream comes true. Hugs,

May 8, 2005

You are so wise. God does have a plan for you, but he also has his own timing. I know how hard this is. *hug*

May 9, 2005

I believe that wanting a child is one of life’s deepest, and most abiding longings. We’ll pray that yours is fulfilled. Your pictures are great fun. I especially love the one of all the kids lined up on the lawn.

May 9, 2005

You give so much already – pat yourself on the back for that! As for your wish…adding my prayers to yours that it is fulfilled.

May 9, 2005

I hope!

Oh man, I can *feel* your dreams in this page of your heart! I’m not going to pretend that I know what you are going through……..Your heart is in my prayers, that is FOR SURE! You’ve taken the *right* first steps……It’s in GOD’s hands. Warm love to you!

May 9, 2005

the pic of the dogs is so adorable! you have tons of love to give. i do hope your dream comes true.

May 9, 2005

I feel for you, I was told at 16 that I would never be able to have kids. Maybe that’s why I’ve gone back to teaching. I will keep you in my prayer smoke that if the spirits so deem it, then your dreams will be fulfilled. Take care my friend.

May 9, 2005

Hope – and Faith and prayers – it’s always a possibility

Such richness in the young lives you touch already! Wow. When I read this entry I thought of First Samual chapter 1 & 2…Hannah, Samual’s mother. She prayed so fervently to be allowed a baby that the Temple priest (Eli) accused her of being drunk! It’s a touching story of God’s miracle. Are you familiar with it? If not, read it and see the hand of God in Hannah’s life. You may one day be Hannah.

May 9, 2005

Giving birth isn’t the only way to experience motherhood, it sounds like you have multiple opportunities in your life already. But if this is what you want (and it is God’s will), I hope you conceive a child. take care,

May 9, 2005

I hope the day comes when you are surprised by your fertility…… a dear friend of mine turned up pregnant at 46 for the first time, years after she gave up trying! Hugs!

Thy Will be done. It is so hard to wait on God’s time. I hope he answers your prayer soon

May 10, 2005
May 10, 2005

HK and I have the same situation. No contraception for nearly 21 years now. Now, I am not sure that I want any children though if one or more did happen by, that would be fine too.

Ah! What a full life! God has already blessed you! RYN: I’d have guessed that about Jenn.

My son spent lots of time in police cars, and in jail, and in court, and even in a boot camp. Today he’s a dad, and a husband, and an over-the-road truck driver. Just love him and let God fix him in the way only He can. He does so much better than we do…

May 11, 2005

ryn: yeah, with an outfit like that he has no right to critize any of THEIR clothes on the show! ha!

May 12, 2005

I know how you feel…….

May 24, 2005

What a beautiful family you have!