BUCKET HEAD

There is a new state mandated law that states if there is a resident verses resident altercation at a care facility the nurse must report it to the local police department. I have always called the state hotline for abuse and left my voice mail directed message but now I must call the police too.

Guess what happened? Ida pushed Mary against the wall and Mary hit her hand on the cedar chest in the day area. She received a 1/2 inch abrasion to the side of her head. Ouch!

After calling the state hotline, I fumbled through the phone book looking for the non-emergency number for the local Mystic Bay Sheriff’s Department. I was hoping to make a nice and easy report over the phone. Nope! They had to come out and write up a report and speak to the aggressor.

“You really don’t need to come out. Can’t I just do this report over the phone”?

“Miss,All acts of violence must have an on site written report”.

“You don’t understand, my patients have dementia and they are not capable of voicing out accurately. Must of them speak in a “word salad” .

“Sorry, Miss, I will be sending a officer right away”.

Hanging up the phone, I thought that heck maybe the cop will be cute and flirt with me.

The cop was old and fat and very talkative. I think he spewed out his whole health history to me in matter of 5 minutes. People tend to do that to nurses because they know that we care.

Any ways, I gave him all the pertinent details about the altercation. I was secretly hoping that he didn’t have to actually pay a visit to Ida. I’m sure she has already forgotten the events of her earlier escapade with Mary.

“Ok, lets go talk to Ida.”

“You can talk to her, but I can guarantee that she won’t remember what she did”.

As I had predicted, Ida denied everything and even told the cop to go to hell you fat pig.

You can’t say that I didn’t warn him!

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ON A LIGHTER NOTE:

Baby Tucker got his nuts chopped off. My question now. Is my vet out of his mind about his directions for baby tuck to wear that cone head thing 24/7. The dog is knocking everything over in the house. I’m praying that my fish tank stays standing.

THERE HE GOES–CRASH BANG SHISCA BANG!