200TH ENTRY–IF MY MATH IS CORRECT

MY 200TH ENTRY

I recently read somewhere that we go through a period of re-evaluation every seven years. This has been true in my life, I have had my seven years of partying, seven years of going to church 5 days a week, seven years of dating –trying to find my husband, and now I’m on the brink of a change, maybe it’s because I have turned 40. It really does feel like hitting a brick wall when you turn forty. So much to contemplate about what your future will look like. Will I get Alzheimers disease, what will happen to social security, what will happen to this world, oil supply running out, economic down spiral, so much to think about.

I have been looking back and reflecting on my life on what I have accomplished, what isn’t working, what makes me truly crazy, happy and giddy, what are the important things in life. Changes can happen voluntary sometimes, we can be thrown into it by trauma, often change can creep up on us without us even knowing, either way change happens.

During my “church phase”, I used to have devotional time reading uplifting books of devotion: One year womens bible, the guide post, my daily bread. I kept a paper journal just for me to write stuff in. I’m afraid to take a peek at these journals now. Maybe later.

I miss my devotional time and have decided to spend more time with me. There really are so many pieces of me, spiritual, native, creative, comforter, lover, mother to my fish, cat dog, and bb’s children.

In light of my 200th entry I have decided to make some changes because I feel the need to. So, I have decided instead of spending so much time on this site–instead of reading about peoples exciting lives when in actuality I really should be living my own life to it’s fullest. Sometimes I think I have an addiction to OD and I’m sure that I’m not alone. No..I will not give up reading my favorites and writing in my diary. It’s really too late to quit reading now because I’m hooked. Reading my favs the ones I believe truly care about me makes me oh so happy, I just won’t wait around for one of my favs to bold–kind of like a shark circling around waiting for it’s prey. I will check OD once a day now and that’s it. Instead I could take my dogs for a walk to the bay, or spend an hour making a meal for bb, taking a long bath, and scrapbook again. I have a beautiful scrapbook room alas, it is void without me being there.

With this change of heart, mind and soul I thought it would be fitting to also change my name. I have decided to change my diary name to SWIRLY GIRL cause i’m in a swirly frame of mind.

Oh ya, I would also like to have my notes in private only

Much love,

Swirly Girl