Another hit to my soul

This past Friday (9/27/19) a little after 2am I suffered another hit to my soul when I lost my 12 yr old cat that I had since she was a kitten. Again another death that was unexpected and meant so much to me, she was my first pet…the oldest of the three. The vet nurse told me the doctor believes my cat had a rare heart condition HCM. I didn’t go back to sleep after she passed I called out to work it’s a good thing it was a weekend  gave me a couple days to get my self together, but man I miss her. I’m still getting use to her not being here, the weekend wasn’t that bad last time I cried was yesterday teared up few times today but going forward will be the real test regarding doing stuff out of habit. I’m having her cremated, I should be getting her back this week her remains inside something like a tear drop. My aunt was like why don’t you bury her in the back yard but that didn’t feel right and not what I wanted My cat was family and no offense to people who bury their pets in the back yard you don’t bury family in the backyard. I think one of my dog misses her because they were bed buddies on my bed and she bossed the dogs around. I guess the good thing about this bad thing that happen was that she didn’t die alone even though whatching a pet die is real tough but to have came home and found her dead would of been tougher. I know now why some people say they can’t have pet because they can’t deal with the loosing them part…just great I have to go through that 2 more times.