the dinner

last night was my dinner with the new guy (not the one with the teeth, the old one…the old new guy?).  i was sooooooooooooooo nervous beforehand!  made sure the house was clean and had all the ingredients ready.  i didn’t know what we would talk about.  if he would mention/bring up why we hadn’t talked in so long.  i wanted to believe that we just wouldn’t really mention it at all.  but, i was prepared for any conversation that i thought we would have.

he came over at the "usual time" (7:30).  i had bought a couple bottles of wine after work in case we were gonna do a wine night.  got the dinner started so that it would be ready right around the time he showed up.  we chatted about superficial things–how have you been, how’s it going, do anything fun recently, etc.  once dinner was out of the oven and cooled, i served him and myself and he seemed to really like it.  at least, he said he did.  then, after dinner we sat and talked for 3 straight hours.  about random, nothing stuff.  we didn’t mention why we haven’t talked.  it was like talking to a good friend that you haven’t seen in a long time.  it was comfortable and fun and i had a really good time.  he kept worrying that he was keeping me up late, but i assured him that i was a night owl and had already had my afternoon nap that day. 

i was drinking beer (pretty fast for me, after the 3rd one i switched to water), and he was having rum and diet pepsi.  *side note* if you drink, and you like cherry coke/cherry pepsi, you  have GOT to try cherry rum and coke.  no alcohol taste whatsoever.  very dangerous but very, very delicious.  after a while, he had shifted closer to me on the couch.  i was sitting cross-legged, facing him, and he was sitting normal.  after he shifted, he was resting his arm on my knee.  i sat with my arms crossed across my chest so that i didn’t seem like i was about to jump him!  after we chatted some more, he moved his arm so that it was resting alongside my leg, between me and the couch, and his hand was resting gently on my hip/fat roll/side area.  i didn’t stop him from touching me, but i didn’t encourage it.  i took it as a good sign that he was at least slightly interested. 

we ended up talking about our pets–he is an animal lover as am i.  i was telling him that the only reason i replaced my broken furnace 2 winters ago (i spent 1 1/2 winters with no furnace–just used the fireplace and a space heater) was because i was concerned about my cat and how she would be freezing during the day when i was away at work.  after i told him that, he looked at me and said "you’re so cute when you are concerned."  good sign, right? 

a little while later, he was getting ready to go and we were bringing stuff back to the kitchen.  i asked him if he wanted the leftovers and he said sure, he will eat them (he knows i don’t eat a lot of leftovers).  he stood in the doorway to my kitchen (right next to my front door) and went to give me a hug.  i layed my head on his chest, and he layed his head on top of my head.  i wrapped both arms around him and he said "i could go to sleep right now" RIGHT AS I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THE EXACT SAME THING!   i told him that and then told him to get out of my head.  he looked down at me and i looked up at him and we shared a couple of sweet, soft kisses and he said "maybe next time we can do that."  meaning, next time we can share a bed and have a sleepover.  i said "that sounds good" and he was like "well, i do have to come back to return your tupperware and your cd" in a kind of joking manner.  not sure joking is the word.  kind of like kidding/stating the obvious/i-don’t-want-to-come-out-and-say-i-want-to-hang-out-again-but-i’m-going-to-imply-it kind of manner.   i, of course, agreed and he turned to leave.  we said good night, have a great day tomorrow, yadda yadda yadda.  i went to bed happy and smiling. 

today, when i turned my phone on after work, he had sent me a text thanking me for a great dinner and company.  i said you’re welcome and thank YOU  for coming over.  he said "you’re welcome too."  i am hoping that him taking the initiative to send a thank you text is a good thing.  i’m also hoping that our great conversation and hanging out sparked some feelings.  he told me before that he had feelings, but i never told him that i did.  maybe that month off is what we both needed to see that we want to be with each other. 

the next step is to go out together.  in public.  to dinner or some sort.  if this is going to be a relationship, i want it to be "public."  the friends that i’ve talked to all said that he needs to make a strong move and take me out. and, they all said that i shouldn’t be so quick to sleep with him this time.  i totally agree.  i want this to develop.  my friend megan told me tonight that when we first got together, she thought it would be a long term thing.  i just don’t know what the "protocol" is for dating someone that is recently separated.  how long should i  try to just be casual about it?  at what point do i tell him i want to be exclusive?  i don’t want to scare him off, and i want to give him space to heal from his broken marriage, but i can’t just be a booty call or be in a casual relationship with him anymore.  feelings are real, at least on my side.  and they were there for him too, at one point.  i have other people for the casual stuff.  i guess this is another test of my patience. 

if it is meant to be, it will be.  time to sit back and see where this ride takes me…