extra lonely tonight

just feeling extra lonely tonight.  haven’t seen kevin in a few weeks.  he has been busy.  i think he is seeing someone else.  which, is allowed.  we are "dating" so we don’t have a commitment to each other.  we text every day.  but, i feel like i’m putting more effort into this than he is.  i hate that feeling.  so, i think i’m gonna back off for a bit.  maybe not text him tomorrow.  he has court tues morning for the custody issues (i think).  so, i’ll text him then and tell him that i’m thinking about him. 

i rejoined the dating site.  i just feel like i need to get out there and see who else is available.  i don’t want to be the only one in this relationship that thinks of it as a relationship.  so, if he is dating, i’m gonna date.  i don’t want to, but maybe its for the best.  you  never know until you try. 

i’m gonna work on my dream board a bit more as well.  might do that after folding some laundry tonight.  i have to work late tomorrow (but i get paid for it).  maybe i’ll get a drink somewhere after work by myself and see whats up with the bar scene.  watch some mnf with the possibility of cute guys.

i bought a cute sweater dress and leggings today.  i really like it!  i think its really cute on me.  i don’t normally think i look good in stuff, and i dress very casual but its a good date outfit.  i want to go back and buy more.  it was only $26 🙂

ok, i feel a little better now.  i know there is a lid for every pot and i’m not sure if kevin is my lid.  i really think he is, but until i’m positive, i don’t want to give up on the possibility of finding the perfect person for me.