amazing weekend

i had an amazing weekend with kevin.  we got along great and talked about a lot of stuff.  oh, and i won a lot of money 🙂  our suite was incredible.  the donald really knows how to do stuff right! 

on the drive home, we got to talking about heather.  he told me how they met and that he doesn’t really like her, but he did like the attention.  he told me he would 110% rather spend time with me than her.  she told him she loved him, he said no you don’t.  she is obsessed with him.  i asked him if he wanted me to tell him that i loved him and he said if i wanted to and he would even say it back if i did.  i thought about it for a second, but then i thought he would say something like "i love you as a sister in the lord" which he has done before.  i didn’t want to say it and get that response so i didn’t.  i told him i couldn’t say it without really meaning it. if i’m dating other guys, i can’t mean it. and if i said it, i would feel bad about dating around still.

he also said he knew that i could fall for someone else and that its his lifestyle and wants/needs right now that make it that way.  he said he’s ok with that and he knows thats a risk he is willing to take. 

so, it feels like we are on similar pages to how we feel about each other.  he’s not in a spot where he feels he can be in a relationship and i understand that.  but, i think if he was, i would be the one he was in a relationship with.  its a nice feeling.