a decent day

last night was tough.  i disabled my okcupid account, but i’ve figured out that if i google kevin’s user name, i can find him on there and check out his profile without him knowing.  he had updated it and added new pictures 🙁  i’m hurt by it because that means he is still active on there and i want him to focus on me!  i’m pretty sure he has low self-esteem as a result of everything that happened with his wife, but i don’t want to make excuses for him.  i haven’t decided how to handle it yet.  i have some ideas, but i’m still unsure.

i texted him today, during my meeting.  i said "pssst…i have a crush on you" and he responded "shhhh….i think i’m blushing :D"  very cute 🙂  so, after my meeting, i asked him if we are hanging out this week.  he asked me if i wanted to watch the football game with him on thurs and i said sure.  i asked him if he wanted me to bring any snacky type foods and he said he had some but if there was something i really wanted to bring it.  so, i turned my phone off and went back to work.  when i turned it on and got home, he had texted asking if i wanted to use any of my gift cards.  my students have given me a few gift cards to restaurants and i told him about them before.  so i responded sure and told him i would find them all and see what our choices were.  he said, cool thanks!  and i said anything for you :p.  he said "stooooop it!"  so i responded "hahaha, just making sure you know i have a slight interest in you 🙂  hee hee!"  he responded "Haha, you would do it for anyone.  ur just that sweet!"  and i said "lol nope!  definitely not that sweet lol.  but glad you think so!"  he asked what the earliest i could get there was and i said between 6 and 630 depending on traffic.  so he asked me if i wanted to do that, and we could go out to dinner before watching the game.  SOOOOOO…another public outing!!!  things seem to be moving in the right direction.  this is why i’m hesitant to bring up his activeness on the dating websites.  i probably won’t mention it thurs, but maybe ask him if he thinks things are going in a good direction.  i dunno.  i don’t want to put any pressure on him, but i do want him to know that it hurts me that he is still looking. 

men.  guh!  come on universe, point me in the right direction!!!