well, that sucks…*

My car died on me last night. Probably needs a new alternator, along with a million other things. I was a mess as a result, and called Josh to talk to him about it – and he was a complete dick. Told me to "Cowboy the fuck up" and learn to deal with these things on my own ’cause he’s gone in 8 days and "it’s a harsh reality but you have to face it."

Well, thanks bud.

** I got this note: "I have a feeling that he’s acting this way because it makes it easier for him to not have to deal with the feelings he’s having about leaving. I hope things get easier between the two of you soon." – And I believe the noter hit the nail on the head. I was a bawling mess when I spoke with him last night. And majority of it wasn’t because of the stupid car. I’ve known it’s been on it’s last leg and have been lookin’ around at vehicles for a while. Most of it was because it seems like all this crap is happening on top of Josh leaving in a week. And it just sucks. And I’m sure it’s hard for Josh to see me upset about something he can’t fix – because, originally, when I told him what was wrong with my car, he replied with "I’ll fix it as soon as I come home, honey.." and I didn’t want it to be fixed. I didn’t think it was work putting the $300 into it. So, I’m sure he just feels helpless and this is his defense mechanism. But damn, it still sucked royally last night.

Meet my new car.
 

2006 Chrysler Pacifica. Me loves it.

I know Josh won’t like it. But, oh well. I "cowboy’d the fuck up" and got my own goddamn car that I chose. Hmph.