I Died Today….More Depressed….Don’t Be Like Me

I died today from all the hateful things you said to me

I don’t understand how you could be so rude and judgmental

You’re so cold and such a hypocrite

You preach one thing and do the opposite

I hate you and all that you stand for

I died today because of all the things you did to me

You took apart of me away

A part of me that can never be returned

I will have these emotional and mental scars

For as long as I live

I died today because of emotional wreck you left me in

I feel so guilty now, it’s as if I committed a bad sin

But I didn’t do anything wrong

You’re the one who should feel bad

But you don’t because all you care about is yourself

I died today because of something you didn’t stop

You didn’t do anything to help

Just sat back, relaxed and watched as it happened

How could you let that happen to me

You’re suppose to protect me and care

I died today because of everything you’ve done to me

As well as everything you didn’t do but should have

I no longer want anything to do with you

And I’ll always be wondering

Why did you not care enough to save me

And because y

ou didn’t, I died today

No one really listens or understands me

And they don’t know me at all

I just speak in silence

Hoping and praying that someone will see my words

I wish that I had a better life

I fantasize and dream about my future

But every day is the same as my past

All this hurt and pain that I feel

Couldn’t possibly be imagined

My aching is never endless

And my life doesn’t seem to have a reason or a purpose

My heart has a parasite living in it

And day by day it slowly eats away at me

Leaving me to what seems to be lifeless

Because I’m not living

There’s a great deal of depression that I have

And it’s taken over my body and soul

I always wonder throughout the day

What will come to my dismay

A flood of tears pours out of me

And then I get more depressed

Don’t try to stop me

I’ve made up my mind

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“5”>There’s nothing you can say or do

To make me change my plans

I don’t want to hurt you

And I’m sorry if I will

But I can’t keep going on

And you’re better off without me

So don’t cry

We’ll meet again some day

You can see me in your dreams

And remember that I love you

And don’t ever give up hope

Don’t be like me

The past few entries have been poems that I wrote in the past. They were when my opendiary name was One_Lost_Soul. Although these poems are from the past, they’re pretty much still true today. I try to not feel so down or feel sorry for myself, but it’s really hard for me to. When everyone you’ve ever trusted has screwed you over and hurt you, it’s hard not to feel sorry for yourself and when you’re used to always being picked on and put down, it’s hard to think positively about yourself. I’m still struggling with acceptance, not just from others but learning to accept myself although I am trying really hard to.