The Birthday Party: sequel

 Well.. The birthday party what I told about in my last entry was good, I talked with my ex-boyfriend, and laughed a little.. And now we are friends. Some people can’t seem to get that you can be friends with a person you once were in love with. Well, I can. We can. Because we both love eachother, I just know it, he only told me today. The thing is he is confused and he thinks way too much. And that makes him doubt everything. And one moment he wants to be together, and then, he doesn’t anymore…  And it gets me upset and doubt myself and ask myself what I do wrong while deep down I know it’s just his thoughts that drive him crazy. And no, he doesn’t do it on purpose, he doesn’t do it to play games with me. He truly loved me. I know because I felt it. And he’s the sweetest and most sensitive boy I know. So know, we’re going to be friends.

And it hurts, but I know it’s for the best. If we would be together it would be a crazy rollercoaster going uphill and downhill and crash and rise and it’s not healthy for me nor him to one moment feel insanely happy and the other moment feel like crashing down. I want to be happy now and not go downwards anymore every once in a while and that can only happen if we stay friends now. Maybe even take a little space to allow ourselfs to get over it. The only thing I’m afraid for, is that he’ll forget about me. And I don’t want that. No matter how many times he tells me he won’t, he can’t know what may happen in the future. He might meet a lovely girl who he falls maddly in love with and never loves anyone else again and lives happily ever after. Okay that’s very negative for me. Let’s just put it in the middle and we’ll see what happens later.

The only thing I’m sure of is that now, is not the time to be together. We’ll see i just let it all go it’s own way now.