save me from myself

Ridiculous how much I pay attention to what other people might think of me while I am pretty sure that the only one who is giving me a hard time is myself. Or I hope so at least. I am so so insecure. I hate that I am too sensitive and I get emotional too quickly. Right now I see nothing but a tiny fragile hopeless wreck. I am filling my head with all of these self-destructive thoughts believing they are true. It’s like a vicious circle you can’t stop. Once I mess up the negativity ball comes in and I try to throw it away but it’s like a magnet stuck on me. I am tired of this unstability (everyday another problem pops up) and lack of perspective and feeling like the world is going to end. Is it really a lack of perspective or am I just a screw up? Is everything really going to be okay in the end or is that just something people want to tell themselves to make them feel better? I’ll be honest, right now, I am not satisfied with myself. I hate the way I look, I hate the way I think. I hate the way I am scared to do the things I want to because others might not like it. I hate this caring too much and overthinking. I want to cry but I am just way too fed up. The only thing I can do is hope I will feel better after I get some rest and build my confidence up again, even though I don’t know how.