When it’s time to move forward
Firstly, my roommate UP AND MOVED OUT!! Yup. Without ANY notice like a month back. I came home and all her crap was gone. It wasn’t until that night that she snuck in and left a note on the counter saying "I moved out." Really?? I just thought you were having all your belongings cleaned and polished! Nevertheless, I’ve got the apartment to myself now. the Landlord is ticked off at her, and he’s not making me pay her half. Funny enough, she said in her note I’d need to fill her vacancy, or pay by myself. Nope!! Her note was basically trying, and failing miserably, to scaring me into finding a rooomie pronto or pay myself, which would let her off the hook…
Turns out that morning she called the landlord, and asked how she could move out. He told her the only way she could is with my permission; I.E, I’ll pay by myself or I’ve got another roomie. She obviously got pissed and moved out anyway. So basically, she screwed herself over. And for some reason thought I wouldn’t call the landlord and find all this out?? Are you joking??
I’ve been home this weekend, and so far as I can tell, my brother Dylan has chilled a bit. Since the last time I was home, my parents had called the cops on him four times (one of those I was in town) he flipped out, punched a ton of holes in the hall, etc. Since I’ve been home, he’s been relatively calm, relatively nice… I’m shocked! And he’s finally really showing his love for his new baby daughter Elizabeth.(whom i got to spend most of Friday with :). This pleases me beyond compare. Sam is only seventeen, and she’s handling it extremely well. He’s eighteen, and having a hard time. I knew it would only take time. He’s got the love in him, he just doesn’t know how to show it.
At school, things are pretty good. I finished my final presentation on my "Proof" scene with Matt. It went okay. It could have went better if my scene partner worked better with me. I dont think he has much patience. He thinks he’s the best and if you’re not up to his level, he doesn’t give much. Next, I get Ryan. He’s a pothead. A flake. And totally pissed me off on several occassions.. Yet, it’s good for the scene because i like to make out with him, and our relationship in our scene is MESSED UP. and i mean MESSED UPPPPP!! And it’s my first stage kiss; I full on make out with him at the end, and he wanted to add one at the beginning! (I was like you wanna make out just say so)
However, we weren’t prepared to go and almost had to go on Thursday. I was freaking. Something in my face got to Tim to call on another group. Something in my face made him not lecture me on preparedness. I think perhaps Ron DID say something to Tim about Ryan flaking from time to time. (of course, Ryan was never worried; he thinks im amazing in our scene, and that we just kill it. One amazing rehearsal, mostly making out, does NOT mean its a knock out of the park) Ryan spent the whole class kissin my ass cuz he knew I was pissed…
Yesterday, I was just going through my facebook, randomly looking at old pictures and looking at the comments. I see that now, where Melissa commented, it shows her profile picture. It made me think "Wait, I thought she did her typical disappearing act." Its a NEW picture of her at the Supernatural convention. I was BUTT hurt. Here I am, worried sick about her, and shes just blowing me off. Every few years. My aunt peggy emailed her because she’s upset she did this to me. But what difference does it make now? I want nothing to do with her. Here is a girl I considered the best friend I’d ever had; I had been thinkin about her lately, and had dreams I saw her again, only to feel the biggest stab in the back I’ve EVER felt.
It’s sad to think that when you’re sure that you’ve found that one friend in your life that you’ll always have, or was the only true friend, and when you see that’s not true, you feel broken down. No matter her possible mental illnesses. I’m not sure what to think, what to say… i’m confused. Im hurt. And I’m just trying to keep moving on towards my future.
Because as sad as it is, life is full of heartache and all you can do is keep moving on. What other choice do you have?
This time, it’ll be easier. More freeing. Because I had a revelation this week that everything was moving forward. Everything was going to be okay, and I was moving forward in my life. I was getting closer to people. I was getting my acting chops more in gear. I’ve suffered too much in my life to want to let myself put up with Melissa’s shit, Melissa’s problems. She served her purpose in my life, I think, and as hard as it is to let go, there’s nothing else that can be done.