Adjusting

So, I’m finding it a little hard adjustng to living in California. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. And I hate spending time with just one person, all day, every day. It’s drainin and its boring. And its akward. And its awkward living with people you barely know. They are all extremely nice and I like them, I just NEED variances…

  I’m a little stressed, so it doesn’t help the situation. I NEED to get enrolled for school, which includes getting the FAFSA done, so i can pay for classe. That’s a major stress on me right now, the one item that IS on a time schedule. Classes start in a couple of weeks so it NEEDS to get done.

  I just have to have a few friends, change it up, do group activities and go out. I dont understand how she’s been here 2 years and doesn’t have any friends. It’s bothersome. I get she’s shy. But idk….

  When it all comes down to it, the reason I’m here is to go for my dream of being an actress/film maker. If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t live here. Dont get me wrong, its not bad here, but its not home. It’s not my family. I dont like that feeling, but I feel this burning in my soul telling me its right; I’m meant to do this and it’ll be good to work on myself, and find myself…. that’s why I’m here.

  I am definetly being tested in my strength, which I’m known for. And it’s quite something to live up to, and im trying. Mostly for myself. I know I need to be happy, and being here will help me find myself, and confidence and go after my dreams. If I’m here more than a couple of years with no progress, I’m going back to my family, wherever they’re living.

   I miss them. Terribly. They’re all pains in the ass, and I conflict with them quite often because I’m so honest with them and how I feel, and I’m the black sheep of the family, but I love them so much. I miss being within ten minutes of all my immediate family members. It’s hard, but I’m keeping strong. I need to.