Randomness

I don’t have much going on in my life. I work, I pay bills, I eat, I sleep. One thing that sucks is how much time i spend alone daily. I love my alone time, don’t get me wrong, but having no one to talk to outside of work every single day (especially when I am not used to that, even after a year or so of it) can be a little stressful. I can say I appreciate TF out of having my own place and being able to pay to stay in it, have food and get back and forth to work. I just missing having people in my life. I mean I have people in my life but they all live in other states, and I am not the best at making a lot of friends. I was dating someone, but that was over a year ago, another waste of time of course. I do want to date again, but then again I don’t want to feel vulnerable in trying to let someone else in. If/when I’m ready I will, but I am in no rush, even if i do miss having someone to hang with and all that. It’s better to feel lonely alone than with someone, and until I can find what the hell i am looking for, might as well stay single. This is why I wish I had friends here, more distraction from the lonely. Having social anxiety and being an introvert sucks lol. I am planning on moving back to Indy next summer, cheaper to live there and I’d be near my family. I don’t know anyone here in NC and I am only here because of my piece of shit ex lol. So yeah…I should have just stayed in Indy. However, once I get settled I can get back some of what I lost when I moved here. Like my friends I do have in Indy, my family, cheaper rent, and just not being alone in a state where I only know one person or don’t know anyone at all. I do know I am looking forward to never spending another holiday alone. I have spent plenty of them here since I moved out of my ex’s place 3 years ago. I had only been able to leave once and that was in 2021 for Christmas. I have never had to spend them alone and this sucks, but it is what it is. I will just be glad when I am back where I want to be and can thrive better than I currently am.