*edit* So annoyed and frustrated!!

I am absolutely sick of this process of going back to school. I wish I had a chance to do it when I was younger and fresh out of high school. May have been easier. What started as a simple process, has turned into a hellish nightmare. I don’t have the patience for this shit. Yes, I do want a better education, this is why I’m trying to get in. I also would like to FINALLY get a better job, since it seems a high school diploma isn’t enough anymore. I’d like to further my education, and I don’t want to give up, but this is just so damn frustrating. There are things I wish I had known before I even started. At the rate I’m going, it looks like I’ll have to postpone my classes till fall. Registration for spring classes is only gonna be open for so long (I need to check the deadline on that). So after RE-applying for FASFA using my 2015 tax info (used the 2016 one, which apparently is for fall classes, leading into next year), I finally get a response, and it’s not one I was hoping to hear. First off, based off of wages made 2 fucking years ago, I do not qualify for the Pell Grant. I was told I made too much, but that I could possibly be eligible for NC grants.

Well you know what they wanna give me for 2 years of school (for an associate degree), 2 fucking thousand dollars. So this forces me to get a loan, which means more forms and more time waiting to hear a response. Now I was told by the FA office, I could file for some thing where they look over my income and make a decision based on that. Maybe I SHOULD wait for fall classes. I qualified for the Pell Grant when I used my 2016 tax info. That whole process is BS anyway. I don’t make what I made two years ago, hell i  wasn’t even living here in 2015. I moved here at the tail end of the year. I’m just tired of this, i did everything but register for classes. I don’t wanna do that right now, til i know for sure what I’ll fully have to work with, as I know $2000 won’t get me through the entire thing. If I register, and I don’t drop out after they start, I’d still have to pay for the class. So I won’t rush to do that, until I’m sure I can pay. I’ve been leery of a loan, for the simple fact that I’d have to pay it back, and it’s a bill i can’t afford to add to my life. I dunno, I’m torn about the whole thing. I mean I know other students face the same issue, but I’m broke as fuck. Yes, from what I’ve been told anyway, they’d defer it like 6 years, til I had to start paying it back, but I guess I”m just worried i may not be able to make the payment. A degree isn’t always a guarantee of a better job (or job period), it just  better helps my chances. I wouldn’t be doing this just to have a degree, I plan to use it. I guess i’ll just pray right now, and talk to S (since he bugged me about trying for school any damn way)

*edit* well I just looked at my awards letter again and it seems to have gone down by $1000. They took fall out of it for some reason, and so a lil over $1000, is what I get. I mean I’m sure classes resume in fall, doesn’t mean I’m startimg a new course then. This is annoying as hell. I’m also very confused. Ugh!!