Dear 2019

please don’t be a douche! I’ve never been more convinced that I need to leave and move back home, than I do now. I’m not gonna go into detail this morning, but I will soon. I had a talk with S about this relationship, and I still don’t feel any better. I will have to be the one to break it off, he doesn’t seem to want to. He continues to lie to my face trying to act like I don’t know shit. I’m tired. Between work and Home I can’t deal anymore. It doesn’t matter if he’s actively agrees to stop arguing with me cause he saw how it was affecting me. The damage is already done. I have had this build up of emotion for a couple years now. Nothing seems to be getting better on any part of my life here in  NC with S, so I don’t see a reason to stay. I will write more when I wake, and when I’m on my computer. I just don’t get people who can lie so easily and deny things when I know better. I deserve much better than that. I’m tired of falling apart and crying at work over the misery that is my life