But why though??

So twice this week I’ve had dreams about S. Not a whole lot of them, thank God, but both of the ones I’ve had recently have the same theme. Something wedding/marriage related. Why? I know it’s what I wanted, and I know i’d love it (though I have much doubt now), but why? I guess it’s cause I get upset that I was promised this, but then it kept getting put on hold so much that I lost hope. So first dream, S and I were supposed to get married this one day. We were at this hotel where the ceremony was to take place. Just hours before the ceremony, I realized that I forgot my dress at home. I could see the dress too, it was slimming and sparkly, and remembered I left it in the closet. It was just hanging there as if it were any other dress. I scrambled to find someone to take me home to get the dress, or at best take me somewhere to find a white dress I could use. So I get in the elevator and I am going floor to floor, but instead of going the usual up and down, It traveled like the shuttle trains at some airport. It was so weird. It went on like that until I woke, and i was thinking WTF? Last night, I dreamed I was there with him, I guess at his home but it looked different. For some reason he didn’t see me though, and he was standing next to a set up where he was planning to propose. I knew it was for me, so I wasn’t sad or jealous, just surprised. I seen him get down on one knee to I guess practice how he was gonna do it. Not sure why he didn’t see me there. He had the ring in his hand and held it up. I don’t remember much after that. In fact it took me a while to remember that dream, something I saw on my phone triggered the memory. Why are these dreams in my head? I’d much rather not dream of marriage with him, not while he’s the man he is now. I mean he claims he still wants to be with me, talks as if he loves me and all that. However, I hear less and less from him. When I follow suit, then he starts being attentive, somewhat. I mean with maybe saying good morning, then not much else later. Sometimes we’ll talk, but not as often as I’d think for someone that misses me sooo much. I know that he’s been working some crazy hours cause most of the folks at his job are quitting, but he could make time for me if he really wanted to. I know I’m not going to be chasing a dream. Those dreams though, and being so close together with the same theme, I’m like wtf? I hope that’s the last of those, cause they certainly weren’t on my mind when I went to bed either one of those nights.