But at Least It’s an Entry

Dear Diary,

Mid May already!  Does time actually fly when you’re having fun? 

I guess fun has been present…but it sure feels like life has been somewhat of a struggle and that may be from lack of …what?   Thought I could come here and write and figure some of this stuff out but I feel like I’m getting nowhere fast.

Between the church job and the subbing, I’m keeping busy but not making the kind of money that I need.  The business that I started last year as an independent consultant for SLaH has been on the back burner for the past 5  months. I need to locate my motivation for that and rekindle the fires. *That * could bring in the $$$ if I would really work it.

Hubby’s mom was in hospital in March with pneumonia and by “accident” they found a tumor on/in the right kidney. They were doing a CT scan of the lungs and I guess the technican decided to cover more area and made the discovery. She was referred to a specialist, who has referred her to a pulmonologist, who is doing additional tests.  The plan is to check and see if she can with stand surgery, considering her other medical issues and her age.  I’ve made 2 of the visits with my SiL with her, feeling like an additional set of ears would be good when it comes down to making decisions.  They have used the cancer word but I’ve not heard the results of the urinalysis that was finally done. Guess the specialist just knows these things.  Actually, he wasn’t all that cocky and didn’t strut too much.  He doesn’t want to do the surgery * just to do surgery* if it doesn’t improve the quality of her life.  Uhhh…life with cancer?  There’s much to learn and I foresee a family meeting in the next couple of weeks.

New York City in April is just the best…at least it was when we were there.  But I’m inclined to think that NYC is just the best any time I’m there. This was my second visit in the past 4 years. “The Producer’s”, “Rent”, and “We’re Still Hot” were the shows of choice this time. A day at the statue and the island made the list of things we did. Saturday morning found us at Ground Zero.  On that first visit in March ’01, we passed up an invitation to go to the WTC, thinking it might rush us on our last day.  We made plans to “do it the next time we’re in town”. Our traveling companion this time had use of his sister’s apartment in the Upper East side of Manhatten.  I was in heaven!  We visited the Renaissance in Time Square and toasted our beloved Tom with a cosmopolitian. He introduced that drink to me at that very place.  Tom really should have been with us…not just in spirit.  I still miss him soooo much.

Still not able to uncover the thoughts behind this mood…

…but at least it’s an entry.

~Susie