Invisible
I just felt like seeing if I could put this stuff into words….there are times I would believe I was invisible if it weren’t for my animals.
Maybe invisible isn’t the word…maybe robotic would be a better description.
I clean this house and its never good enough for mom….I have maxed out my credit cards some on her medical bills…I take her to appointments, makes sure she has her meds and equipment…never have a dollar to my name to just waste…I help others when I can…I helped this summer with something…I put several hours in…and all of our hard work paid off in the end..and I am probably the only one who worked directly with them who wasn’t invited to the ceremony…I couldn’t have gone…but it would have been nice to have been asked..you know..not taken for granted…I never thought those people would have been so self absorbed.
But I come back to my animals…who never take me for granted…who miss me when I leave for two minutes to get the mail…who always gives back more kindness then I could ever show them.
I’m still reading a lot…stories of fake lives is better than dealing with real thing….if it weren’t for the animals…I’d have given up a long time ago….there are days like today when mom won’t shut her mouth that I just want to pick up and leave…I’m just hoping the animals can always be the anchor I need…even today I look at them and think there will be a day that even they can’t keep me here.
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My goal in life…is to be the kind of person my pets think I am.
Hugs! I know it is hard sometimes.
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You have such a difficult time, I really wish there was something I could do for you, you know, take your mind off of all these things. I could tell things were busy for you because you didn’t update. I wish you did that more!
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They are a most powerful anchor – that’s for sure! {hugs}
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Oh, Ruthie, I just feel so bad for you! I know how kind and compassionate and dedicated you are and I know how much you’ve been through. I just wish I could take all of your sadness away and make people see what a good person you are!!!!
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You aren’t invisable. I see you.
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It is just the worst feeling in the world to feel taken for granted. My pooch is always in the same spot on the arm of the couch when I walk in from work. I always wonder how long he lays there and waits for me. Guess I’ll never know. Your diary and life experiences have taught me much about strength and overcoming adversity. Not being acknowledged for one’s good works is discouraging. 🙂
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Sorry you’re feeling invisible and mechanical. I know what you mean, because I’ve felt that way many times: rejected and taken for granted. That’s partly how I lost trust in people. You are a nice person who cares about others. It’s true that animals often appreciate us better than people.
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