doing things I want to be doing

Yesterday I watched too much television. Although tennis sometimes is slightly interesting at some points it certainly isn’t something to watch all day. In the meantime channel surfing to shows on Nickelodeon, cartoons, sitcoms, the dogwisperer. NO, I didn’t like doing that at all! Outside the weather was fine. Warm and sunny. Only late in the afternoon I got myself out of the cell that had become my room. I walked to the Amstelpark and wrote and read and just sat on a park bench in the sun. That’s more like it! I like doing things I like, but I seem to do things I don’t like. Even on a free sunny Sunday afternoon. I know this and it is confirmed time and again.

Today. Today began quite all right. I had decided that I wouldn’t force myself to eat breakfast and to just eat when I became hungry. That seems like a sound strategy. When I became hungry I ate and turned on the telly. Again I got stuck doing something I don’t like doing at all. Watching Nadal play amazing tennis against Federer is not what I want. Some people would like it, but I really don’t. During dinner I watched television as well. Only after I snapped myself out of it. Today the weather wasn’t great, which meant taking a walk was not the first thing I would choose to do. I put on Within Temptation and sent some draughts related emails. I ordered new shirts from The Mountain (at extremely high overseas shipping costs), I ordered CDs from Amazon (Tori Amos, Within Temptation, Swan Lake) and I upgraded this diary. I work full time and still live in a students’ apartment building, which means I can afford it. Spending money on myself in order to find out what I want and actually act.