The truth of the matter…

is that describing this current situation as "bliss" might have been a bit of a stretch. I’m alone a lot which most times is ok, but every so often I get blind sided by lonliness. This often leads to thoughts and wishes that things were different, that we lived in a different place…Kamloops would be my preference to be close to my 2 best friends. I DO have the support from my husband and my mother, but missing the support of girl friends, best friends, sometimes gets me down. I worry a lot when I’m alone with my thoughts. How are we going to manage on mat leave pay, are we going to be ready in time, so many what if situations….too many.

I have a lot of guilt from being off work. Though I know that whether I’m there or not, business goes on,  but my job was to support the team and I feel like I’ve let a lot of people down. I have heard through various sources that a lot of girls at work are empathetic to my situation…they are seeing the true person my boss is now that they are filling in. That makes me feel a bit better about the situation, knowing that I’m not the only one who thinks my boss is crazy. I just wonder how I keep managing to get jobs that have crazy bosses?! Seriously…will I ever find the job that has all the pieces in place?!

We’re going to a friends place in Airdrie on Saturday for dinner. That will be nice. They have 2 little boys – the youngest is only 8 months old. I can’t wait to see the boys and how they are – the oldest is 2 and I think the last time I saw him, he was the same age his brother is now. I find it really difficult to maintain friendships, so I’m very lucky that the friends I do have are persistant and don’t let me fall off the face of the earth, never to be heard from again.

I didn’t get out of bed today until 1pm…I was awake from 4:30am to 9am, so I don’t feel too badly about getting up so late. However, because of this I haven’t gotten much done today. A couple of loads of laundry…that’s it. Dinner tonight will be simple – soup and sandwhiches. Hopefully tomorrow will be more productive. Perhaps if I keep hoping for that, one of these days it will happen!