Stale Cereal

Not just any stale cereal…stale wheat bran cereal. If it didn’t taste like cardboard before, it sure does now! Well…okay not that bad with frozen berries and some Splenda added.

The weekend was boring and went by far too quickly. I was not happy when the alarm went off this morning. After the 2nd snooze I just shut the alarm off and rolled over. Of course my guilt and anxiety got the best of my momentary “fuck it” thinking and I got out of bed at 3 minutes after 7 this morning. If I had the truck to myself I’d probably still be in bed, but unless I want to take the train I have to get up and be ready with Rob. Though, come to think of it, if I didn’t get up, neither would he. Oh well…retirement’s only what…33 years away?!

Oh yeah, back to the weekend. Not that there’s much to report. Friday night we cooked for a change…only due to limited finances –we would have gotten take out otherwise. We had freezer burnt fish, spinach salad and lentil salad. The salads were good – the fish…not so much. I actually think we were in bed before the news came on. I can’ really remember…that’s how exciting the weekend was right there. Saturday we were up earlier than we wanted to be – the cats were out of control and Rob finally blew a gasket at 9:30am and got out of bed. I thought about laying there longer, but once again, cue guilt and anxiety…so I got up about 5 minutes after. We had a pot of coffee and watched a marathon of E! True Hollywood Story. The Hilton sisters were on. Funny, I don’t really remember ever hearing about Nikki Hilton other than her being “Paris’ sister”, but according to E! It was all about the 2 of them, not just Paris. Who knew?! After that show I pinned my bangs back, curled my hair, slapped on my face and we went out for Donairs. I had the chicken one – it as so good! By the time we ate Saturday afternoon we both had the shakes form all the coffee and no breakfast that morning. We then splurged and went to Crave. We shouldn’t have, but we did and it was delicious as always! We spent Saturday night at Chris’ – watching hockey and BBq’ing. I brought a few magazines with me, so I read while the boys yelled at the TV. The Flames game sucked…even I know that and I’m not a hockey fan. We didn’t stay at Chris’ too late – 11 maybe, but we still managed to stay up until almost 2 channel surfing – SNL, MadTV, South Park…you know, real quality viewing!

Sunday we slept in longer and by the time we got up the afternoon hockey game had already started, so Rob decided to not got over to Chris’ house and we went grocery shopping together. It started out ok…I made a list and a meal plan (well not in that order), showered, got dressed, etc… but by the time we were in the truck on the way to Wal Mart I was struck by this HORRIBLE mood. I suppose it was the planning and thinking about money and being strict with spending…I guess. All I know is I wanted to rip Rob’s throat out and feed it to him and then jump off a bridge. I was so anxious, then that led to feeling guilty, and throw in some overwhelmed…by the time we got home from grocery shopping I was a bawling mess. No concrete reason. Couldn’t explain it, but it was one of those feelings….just ugh! It’s been a couple of weeks since a meltdown like that so it was kind of unexpected. We had dinner at 5:30pm or so and after that and some more hockey I went to the kitchen to get a few things ready for the week…put on some tunes and puttered around the kitchen. My mood passed – thank God – and it felt good to be productive and “wifey” – lol…but while I was in that mood…I was having none of it. It’s so tiring to wage a constant war against myself…so frustrating too. I need to make a note of this to talk to my psychologist about this in session tomorrow. The majority of the day was spent angry and anxious…it did not make Monday morning come easy nor did I welcome the end of the weekend this morning. Needed more feeling good time and less fighting with myself this weekend. (oh yah and less hockey).

So another week looms ahead. I haven’t heard back from the Deerfoot yet about another interview this week – I wouldn’t be sad if I didn’t hear back from them at all actually. I’m not sure that changing my job would be the best thing for me right now. It’s attractive because of the money…the other side of the list far outweighs this. But, no use worrying until there is an offer on the table.

My boss is back from 2 weeks off today. She was in Mexico. No swine flu…at least we think. She didn’t even know about the outbreak until she got back to Canada Saturday night. Make me wonder if the information we’re getting from Mexico is even correct. She looks great – has nice color on her skin…seems really relaxed…now if only I could get some of that for me! 10 days on the beach…I wouldn&

rsquo;t even care if the food was shitty as she says it was. I’d eat sand if I had to.

I finally signed up on Twitter. And now, I’m a Twitter whore. I can’t get enough of the celeb updates. I wonder if it’s really them? Is Miley Cyrus really doing a talk show in {Paris today? Did Kim Kardashian really get her nails done yesterday? Did Ryan Seacrest really talk to Michael Douglas on the phone this morning. I suppose these could all very well be true, but more importantly – was it really these people who posted it on Twitter? One never knows.

It’s taken me forever to write this today and not because I’ve been swamped with work. I have a lot to do, but my motivation is in the toilet. I’m going to brave the snow and take transit home tonight rather than waiting for Rob to pick me up. I can get dinner started and in the oven and hopefully a little nap before we eat. A few loads of laundry, shower before bed and sleep. Then…I get to do it all over again tomorrow! Shit, Flames game on tonight…I might just continue my nap right through until tomorrow morning then. I’m hockey’d out.