I need some friends…

…Apparently. My husband keeps trying to get me to find friends to hang out with and have over for dinners and drinks and stuff. I HAVE friends…day time friends, coffee friends, shopping friends and movie friends. But, my best friend is my husband and he just doesn’t seem to understand that or accept it (I’m not sure which). I tell him all the time that my favorite way to spend a weekend is with him. We don’t DO a whole lot (like go out for drinks, dinners, movies etc…) especially now that Parker has arrived, but I am fine with that. And now that we are in a house rather than our basement suite, I just want to stay home and enjoy our house since I hated spending evening in every other place I have lived in the last 10 years.

I’ve always thought our relationship worked so well because we were each others best friend, but I’m getting the impression that has changed for one of us.

I KNOW that couples need friends outside of each other, and like I said I have that. But because I don’t want to spend a whole day or a whole night away from my husband he thinks that there is something wrong with me and keeps trying to "fix me up". And really, I’m fucking sick of it. I’m also sick of telling him he’s my best friend and being responded to with…"well you need a girl best friend". Most of my girl "best friends" that I have had have ended up hurting me really badly in some way or another. There’s too much drama with some girl friends too. I’ve just come out of a 10 year depression…I need to be careful who I surround myself with. I’m finally happy and content and upsetting this balance right now is not something I am interested in. Friends are a lot of work…maybe that’s why I consider Rob my best friend…there’s no work needed…it’s easy.

Of course I do have a handful of girl friends who aren’t work, who aren’t a bowl full of drama, and who haven’t hurt me, and guess what?! they don’t live here. I’m not in the market to replace them either. They are the kind of friends that a week could go by or 6 weeks could go by – it doesn’t matter – you always know where you stand with one another and pick up exactly where you left off. I haven’t found that in any friend since I moved away from home. There are expectations with new friendships that I just can’t fulfill. I’ve spent the last 10 years with a weird phone phobia – hate, hate, hate talking on the phone. My forever friends back home get that – they don’t push and have happily adapted to texts and e-mails and accept the very occasional occurances that we talk by phone. You can’t do that with a new friend. And I’m in a position where I can’t really explain why I never pick up the phone to call. I have lost a number of "friends"over the fact that I don’t pick up the phone when they call or return messages. I guess that’s something I need to work on still. But it doesn’t fix the fact that my husband does not consider me his best friend. I’m really bugged by this.

I could see him having a problem with this if I never let him see his guy friends, but I’m always encouraging him to go see them. I.am.fine.at home.alone. He says he "feels bad" leaving me home alone and then doesn’t go because he feels guilty while he is there. Hmmm…maybe I’ve just figured it out…he’s probably trying to find me friends to ease his guilt. I suppose that’s his problem to work out. Perhaps he and I need to have a little chat tonight. I think that’s probably the best way to fix this and get on common ground.