Derailed

I’m giving an entry a try for the first time in a long time. There seems to be no time available to me during the day lately, BUT Parker is in his crib for a morning nap for the first time ever, so we;ll see what I can bang out before he wakes up. I really hope it’s more than a cat nap.

At the end of June, Rob’s birthday in fact, I had a total meltdown. I had been without my meds for about 6 days at that point. If I ever needed proof that I still need anti-depressants I got it then. I was a frickin’ mess. Had I not gotten a refill when I did and double dosed myself, I may not be here to write this today. Thankfully the medication cleared my mind and I’ve been taking it faithfully since. I should have known. It’s happened before, however it WILL NOT happen again. I hate myself when I’m crazy.

Unfortunatley the little bout of depression really threw me for a loop with WW …. I totally fell off the WW wagon, but I’m climbing back on as I write this. It’s been 6 weeks of, what I have named, operation binge. I’ve felt like I can’t get enough food in my mouth since the end of June, but since my food of choice has been fast food I know it’s mental, not physical. I don’t think I un-did ALL of the good that I had done in the 9 weeks prior, but I know that some of the pounds are back…I can feel it. So, this Wednesday, I will get back on the scale, attend a meeting and get my ass back on track. Like I have proof of what no meds does to my body, I also have proof now of what eating poorly does to my body (and my mood too).

My mom was here for the first week of August. I had so much planned for her visit – I had stuff to get done around the house, Rob & I were going to have a date night, my mom and I were going to catch a movie, pedicure for me..on and on…just some things to help me re-charge my batteries. Unfortunately Rob broke his ankle on the 2nd day of her 8 day visit, so while my mom took Parker off my hands (who was totally miserable for all of her visit), I had to look after the big baby who was pretty much immobilized by his ankle. He broke it vaccuuming the basement, so it’s not like I can even be mad at him for doing something dumb. It’s stressful having my mom & Rob together at the best of times…this time however, was BRUTAL! My mom thinks I do too much for Rob as it is, so me having to do everything for him, including bathe him, was just a little more than mother could handle. She wasn’t vocal about her displeasure, just a lot of eye rolling and little noises every so often. It was a long 8 days.

Last week was Rob’s vacation, which in some small way was good because at least he got paid for being off with his ankle, but we had planned a camping trip and that was cancelled due to his ankle. I was really looking forward to getting away for a few days…no such luck. We did however get the "pleasure" of spending the camping money on an aircast for his ankle – $130!!! But at least he got some mobility back and is able to do more for himself now. He’s back at work today for the first time since July 30…I really hope he doesn’t some home crabby. It’s not like he does much more than surf the internet most of the day there…like he did here, but I know he won’t elevate his foot or ice it, so he’ll probably head straight for the T3’s when he gets home.

One of my best friends came to meet Parker last week. She drove out from Kamloops early Mondy morning and left early Wedensday morning since she had to work at 1pm that afternoon. We only had Monday night and all day Tuesday together but it was awesome!! I forgot how much I love my girls back home…it was so great to see her and hang out, AND she was amazing with Parker too. What a joy! We hung out Monday night – ordered Chinese and gossiped about people back home. Tuesday morning we made breakfast and headed to Ikea and Cross Iron Mills. Parker was an absolute doll that day, so we were out shopping for almost 6 hours without any fuss. That’s the longest I’ve been out anywhere since February! There were some awesome sales on baby clothes – my friend bought Parker some stuff and I got him a few things for next summer and I scored some stuff at Ikea that I wanted too. That was a soul healing day for me…it’s been so long since I’ve been with a friend like that.

The mommies and babies got together on Thursday for play group. It was good. I woke up not wanting to go and telling Rob I wouldn’t be gone for more than an hour…well 4 hours later I got home! It’s nice chatting with the mommies and time flies so quickly. I’m hosting play group here tomorrow. I’m baking banana bread tonight for our snack. I hope it goes well or I’ll be running out to Safeway in the morning for something. I’m not really known for my baking skill. In fact I’m known more for my lack of skill! The last time I tried this it was a box mix and when I cut into it after baking, it had hard boiled eggs in the centre. No where on the box did it tell me to stir in the eggs that I added. Oy! This will be an adventure.

I’ll be driving Rob to work until his ankle is better which means earlier mornings for Parker and I (up at 7 rather than 9), so hopefully Parker will get in a morning napping routine and I will find more time to get on here and write. I always have time to read, but it’s writing that I’m missing like crazy!

I’m off to get myself a healthy brekkie and get on with the day…so much on my list and I don’t know where to start!