Young Stud’s Meltdown

I love my son, ya know? If you’ve been reading my diary for a while you will have picked up on that. He has always proved to be mature beyond his years, a great friend, and my best teacher.

That statement being made…imagine my surprise when sometime in early May (about a month before the BIG wedding day) I got a frantic phone call.

“Mom. I don’t know if I want to get married. Is this the right thing to do? What if this is a mistake? I don’t know what to do.”

Wisely, I did not comment on the fact that I may not be the best versed in matters of marriage, being twice divorced myself. We just talked for a while as I tried not to solve his problem for him but rather to ask the proper questions to trigger his hysterical brain into calming down enough to figure it out himself. Almost 2 hours later he seemed calmer and said he knew what he had to do. As I hung up, I felt better and very busily began patting myself on my back for being such a “good” mom. Things would all be “fine” now. Oh yeah.

So…imagine my surprise when, a week later, Young Stud’s fiance called me around 2 in the morning to tell me YS had moved out lock, stock and barrel. I then spent over an hour on the phone with her attempting to be a good almost mother-in-law and ask HER all the right questions. This was considerably more difficult since I don’t know her as well as my son AND it was 2 in the flipping morning!!!!

Well…as it turns out YS felt he had never TRULY been on his own and felt like he had to prove he could make it on his own. OK. Go for it big guy. SO…he moved into a slum (literally) with no furniture because that’s what he can afford. I questioned the sanity of this move – but he was enthusiastic – with all the optimism and total disregard for sanity that a only 23 year old male can muster. I wished him well and told him that he better make sure the dog at least was well fed and taken care of! After all, that beautiful chocolate lab hadn’t asked to be ripped out of her home!!!!

Meantime, I kept in touch with the ex-fiance – she was hurt and confused. Fancy that!

Young Stud’s foray into total independence lasted about 10 days. Then he moved back in with ex-fiance who became, once again, fiance. The wedding was postponed. The honeymoon was not. They went to a beautiful secluded island getaway in Mexico. I refrained from repeating the adage about not buying the cow if you can get the milk to fiance. YS sent me a postcard of some ruins with a note informing me that this was as close as he got…looking at the postcard. Little shit! I know he loves the beach….but the ruins are so amazing as well-I keep begging him to at least visit them once every time they take off on another one of their jaunts.

So….they settled back down – or so I thought. In a conversation just post-Mexico I asked if Fiance had found a new job. Seems she had – in Wilmington, NC. So….in 2 days YS and F are moving to NC. WTF? I will NEVER understand my son!!!

I thought the meltdown was due to taking on too much change at once…quit jobs, move to new state, changing schools, marriage….that’s a lot to handle all at once. But he’s doing it all anyway – except for the marriage part. Hmmmmm. Suppose it’s the MARRIAGE concept that’s the problem?

Whatever. He’s still a cutie pie….and if he doesn’t get his arse down here to visit his momma soon….I’m gonna visit him – unannounced! Now THERE’s a threat to chill a grown man to his bones!

Don’t you just love sons….LOL I can totally relate to this entry…BIG SMILES

thank you. my curiosity can be put to rest now 😀 maybe the kid is afraid of commitment… or maybe since you’ve been through two divorces, he’s afraid he’ll end up going through a divorce… *ponders* or maybe he’s just a guy and will never be understood by she-folk like us. *hugs for my favorite wolfie*

The part about not having done it on his own terms (alone) reminded me so much of my own 24 year old son right now. Only this mama thinks he’s right – for way different reasons, I suspect. Hey, it doesn’t matter if you ask the right or the wrong questions. They’re going to do what they want. Personally, I wonder what fiance is thinking by taking him back so quickly.

You write very good and easy to follow for a non native tounged American! 😉 YEH! Good luck to HIM and YOU! 🙂 Love and light from me (Faerie)

Hrmm strange men what can ya say TDG

Hey, you owe him one. Or two. Or a dozen. ~;D The whole thing sounds pretty traumatic. With his only being 23, it’s probably not such a bad idea for now. ~:)

Well maybe it’s good he get’s it out of his system now. *shrugs* I hope things work out for them both. I laughed when you used the line “the adage about not buying the cow if you can get the milk”. My mom used that line a lot when we were teenagers. *grin* You’re a good mom! *with warm hugs*

If he’s only 23 and really never has lived on his own, he oughtta do it, or he’ll resent Fiancee down the road when she’s Wife and moving out won’t be so easy. In any event, he sounds too squirrely right now to get married, so it’s probably a good thing they postponed the wedding. And if I were you, I’d visit him unannounced ANYWAY! The drama never ends, does it! BTW, cooked any meals latel

AGHHHH! Effing OD! My last little line was: By the way, cooked any meals lately?

Love all the !!!!!!!!! you left me!!!! !! Re son please advise him definitely honeymoon first and then again and again and preferably with different people.!!!!! And great to hear from your good self.Alexias ps!!!!!!

Oh yes, I have one of those 23 year old sons, you just never know what they are thinking or what they are going to do. Mine went to Las Vegas and eloped in May. LOL 🙂

Better he should wait! My first ex was twenty-three when we got married and he was so antsy the whole time it drove me nuts and broke my heart. I thought there was something wrong with ME that him act that way, but it was HIM — just too young to settle.

ryn — Glad to help! It was Mz Odd who told me how to log on at OD. NO JELLY??? In what kind of home ec class are there no fruit goo and hot wax to drip on your feet and track all around the room and down the hall to your next class?

Sons! Thank God mine are all married, I hope they stay that way!

A person’s brain is not fully developed until they are 25. That alone seems like enough reason to me for people to not get married until they are at least 27 or 30 or 50. Yes, 50 seems reasonable. Of course, by that time they are so used to being unmarried it would be silly to get married. Thus, I think we should all just become gay, subvert the institution of marriage, and fornicate until (c)

we go blind — those with some self-control can stop while they just need glasses. (How many people do you think will NOT understand the humor of this note?) xoxo

(3) Please overlook the grammatical error in that first sentence. It is after midnight. Gramma(r) goes to bed early around here.

(4) I forgot to put a “(2)” in the second note. Logic seems to slip off to sleep with Gramma(r). (The sluts!) 🙂 (And I am NOT even drunk!)

Wandering around on a post-entry stroll. You know the routine. With a smile…

Sounds reasonable, if tumultuous, for that age — especially with it being YS’s first taste of living independently. I can relate. Re the home ec material: I found out the other day that grocery stores that mislabel their products can be reported to the Dept of Agriculture. If an inspection finds mislabeling, the store can be fined $500 per individual item. Not bad.

Poor YS. 23 is way to young to get married, so he’s made the right choice there. Why did she take him back so quickly? ~hugs~

Looky who’s been writing! With a smile from FOD…

Hey Girl – yeah I’ve been slack – but that’s a story I might put down eventually. But it sounds like you’ve had your days and nights full. Are you going to take the job – it sounds like you could make it interesting for the kids. And you could get Chickie to teach them how to shop well 😉 She’d terrorize them. How about emailing me your address so I can give you yr xmas card 😉

Never a dull moment in the house of Wolfie, eh? I hope that YS comes for a visit soon!

Wow. of course, I’m working on how to tell my mom she’s going to have a future daughter-in-law. . .

*chuckles at Luna’s notes* sounds like young fiance will be lucky to have you for mom-in-law 🙂 you done good! maybe there are alot of big things going on at once in YS life.. maybe he just got cold feet? marriage is a big step.. heh, i once threatened to move to where my son was. he, in turn, said if i did that, he’d move away. of course we were both joking~

No, I don’t think your son is ready for marriage…and that is okay. He seems young and I can understand his need for independence, although I think he just may fear the ‘m’ work, yet love the community of a woman. Good job staying neutral and keeping open channels between both of them!

well darn, now they won’t be here and you can’t make a doublevist. i hope they like the up there and that they do the hitchin thing (if they do) not on a school day so you have to find a sub! 🙂 You did good mom. *hugs*

LOL, pre wedding nerves are great aren’t they… at least I only saw my councellor for a session to get it sorted out rather than high tailing it away from here!