April 6, 2002

Next: 4/8/2002

You Gotta Be Kidding!

There are some things that a wolfie girl is just not meant to do. I mean, really, were not designed that way you know?

Pro-create = good. (Especially the times when, strictly speaking, procreation isnt the actual goal. The ummm PRACTICE runs are quite satisfying on their own. Any questions see The Watchers diary).

Mowing the lawn = bad. Really! If I was SUPPOSED to do this, wouldnt God have had me birthed with the equipment to make mowing as enjoyable as procreating? Only makes sense!

First off, I had to buy a mower. After years of apartment dwelling, a mower was not tucked away in a box somewhere waiting to be unpacked after the move. Trust me, I looked. I hate spending money on mowers, cause I hate mowing. Not only that, but Im UNEMPLOYED for pitys sake! Shouldnt there be a free mower give-away somewhere? Youd think it would be simple. Lord knows I tried to make it simple. Unfortunately, the man in the mower department didnt speak English and I didnt speak Mower. Definite communication gap.

MOWER MAN: What kind of grass do you have?

SW: Grass thats too tall and really rather patchy. Not much of it either.

MOWER MAN: A rolling of the eyes and exasperated gestures that I hardly think were necessary.

Then I had to get it in the car. No problem. Pleasant young man does the deed. But he didnt remain pleasant after I asked him to come home with me and remove the mower from the car and set it up. What? It was a legitimate question!

Mower home. Yee-haw. Mower out of car. Yippee. Mower out of box. Rah! Mower pre-assembled. Doing a happy dance!!

Read instructions. Put oil in HERE –>. Put gas in HERE —>. Attach bag HERE —>. Push red button 3 times while saying theres no place like home.. Pull cord. Mower will start. Yeah, right. I suppose it COULD happen that way but not to me!

All this aggravation for a patch of grass with a very tenuous hold on life, not much bigger than a flea on a dogs arse. Whats this world coming to? And to top it off none of my neighbors are unattached men with nice abs (and nicer legs) that I could try to bribe to take their shirt off and mow the grass for me. There is no justice!

So, its mowed. I cleaned up the mower. Why I dont know, but my dad always did, and my dads pretty smart about mowers and such. I put it away. Then I went out and stood on my pathetic little patch of freshly mown weeds, er, uh grass, and looked up at the sky.

SW: “Are you happy now, God?

GOD: “You betcha!” And you know what else I could swear I heard him snorking with laughter…

haha. That’s awesome. Congrats on your lawnmowing. 🙂 you are a really good writer too. I enjoyed reading it. Meghan

next time, an electric mower… LOL, I hate mowing too, but I like grass. Hence I have a small semicircle of grass in my gravel yard. Takes me 10 minutes to mow it and weedeat it. worth the effort. Just watch your feet!

The Watcher

April 7, 2002

RYN: Have you tried running the demons over with the mower, assuming the mower ever actually started?

Come mow my lawn? It’s only about an acre. I’ll rub your back after. And everything else. With a hopeful grin…Torin in the robes of

Chrys.

(grin) You mena that’s ANOTHER thing I gotta learn how to do by myself?? My son is eleven. Is that old enough to mow by himself yet?? Dang, sorry no mowable men near you, SW..None near me either! Oh the injustice;(

LOL. It is my firm conclusion that the female of the species does not have mowing genes. That task fell on me when we lived in Cuba and hubby was gone and I couldn’t find help from anyone. We had an old push mower (the kind without motors, gas, pull strings, etc) and a very bumpy hill. The mower got snagged on the hill and I tried to pull it free and wound up pulling muscles in my back.

u mean theres other types of grass?

Sure s/he was. Just wait till it’s our turn. : ) We’ve already had to mow three times. I’m not liking this, yech, yech, yech. HOWEVER i did borrow my neighbor’s plug in air blower, oooooo!!!!! you GOTTA get one of them if only for the pleasure of watching leaves fly up like in a hurricane going BACK up to the branches, it was so fun. 🙂 NOT the mowing, that sucks.

Willy & Wilma

God doesen’t work at his garden stuff like we do with ours. Tilling the soil he NEVER does, or fertilizes or mows. But his weeds are a lot healthier looking than our veggies

Come visit. I’ve been so productive today (meaning Torin won’t shut up and I’ve been trying to keep up with his nattering) and there are three…count ’em…THREE more entries so far just from TODAY!

I wish I had known you needed a mower, we have about 20 sitting around here! LOL I can’t mow the lawn, I’m allergic to grass, really I am! 🙂

I loved this entry. But I’m afraid I am one of the few that love to mow. Give me a mower anytime but you can keep those darn vacuum cleaners!

darkart

*grin* I would be too….erm in a good way!! HONEST!! =)

This is so nice written, and also LOL and light & best wishes to you ¨~¨ Grats! and happy working day! Love

April 8, 2002

lol..loved this. but it reminded me that i kind of miss grass, haven’t seen much of it for the past 7 years..

Torin Invanusson

You’ll be glad to know that Torin got Mathu out of the room without Mathu having to say anything more. With a grin…

SW my theory is that God made man to mow lawns and woman to remind him to do so. So when you get that new fantastic job that’s just waiting around the corner, treat yourself by hiring a hunk of a man to mow the lawns and just enjoy he view **grin** Did I just say all that **grin**

That was me – I thought I was signed in – oh God I’m getting old !

LOL I live in an apartment. And my boyfriend loves to mow his lawn – especially when I sunbathe while he does it. (You have to give them some rewards for their labor!)

RYN: I went to your diary beginning to see when you started here and that is the only entry I had time to look at. Comes from sharing a brain, I suppose. Be afraid. Be very afraid. *snorking* and I bet you know who

outside college there is a sign which says, Keep off grass. Not the grass. just keep off grass and everytime I see it I think do they mean grass as in lawn or grass as in pot. Course my mind is weird..

by the way, I love to mow grass. I also cut wood and do laundry. I don’t do windows.

My goodness, you are still here?! How wonderful.You might remember me as Nimue (then again, you might not..it really has been a long time). Terribly funny entry. I don’t know why I don’t think of those things, like asking the nice man at the law mower place to come home with me and service my yard. Brilliance!

I hate mowing too, but I soooo love a mown lawn. It appeals to my sense of order. On the other hand, I’d rather mow than do laundry. Speaking of laundry….no wait is that my lawn mower calling me?

Mutt grass…that’s what I say every time one of those Home Depot Robots asks. A word of advice…even if you’re ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED it doesn’t need it, change the spark plug, oil and air filter every season! ~:) ArtImp, nsi

lisyl

April 18, 2002

😀